You say the worst part is "the never ending imagination you have of how other people look at you." How do you look at yourself. Do you resent yourself, or feel sorry for yourself? I have several friends that are amputees and any time I'm around one of those friends, I initially feel a little sorry for them, but the feeling never lasts longer than five minutes. After that I tend to even forget that they are "handicapped."
it depends on the day but usually i look at myself with pity and shame. when i try really hard to not care about what other people might think, then i'm able to feel better. but usually how i look at myself is how i think other people look at me. some days i think of myself as just someone who's missing parts of their body but most days i feel like a deformed person, which i am. i can't stand being pitied because it only shows how pitiful my life is
When I start thinking about how I think other people might think about how I look, I start to feel the same way. So then I try to remember to think about something like this instead, and it helps me feel a little better:
That field is totally my spirit animal.
And the thing is, do any of us really ever know for sure what anybody else is thinking about us? Not really. We're just filling in the blanks with our own fears, and we don't have to do that. It helps me to remember that too.
I wish I could help and reassure you , but all I can say is I hope and think that non of these individuals think these things , I can’t imagine myself how you feel , but hope things improve
