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I Am An Amputee

the worst part about being an amputee is the never ending imagination you have of how other people look at you. with a friend, i imagine them thinking to themselves whether i'm able to use the bathroom on my own and feeling sorry for me. with my mom, i imagine her seeing how much help i need and feeling scared for my future. with my husband, i imagine him secretly resenting me for not being able to do the most basic things and changing our life and marriage forever. it's been long enough now that when my caregiver helps me with things, i no longer feel embarrassed. but i still worry about how much he must pity me when i need help with even things like eating and putting on clothes

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wewaxation · 56-60, M

How do you look at yourself?

kh0605 · 36-40, F

what do you mean? @wewaxation

wewaxation · 56-60, M

You say the worst part is "the never ending imagination you have of how other people look at you." How do you look at yourself. Do you resent yourself, or feel sorry for yourself? I have several friends that are amputees and any time I'm around one of those friends, I initially feel a little sorry for them, but the feeling never lasts longer than five minutes. After that I tend to even forget that they are "handicapped."

kh0605 · 36-40, F

it depends on the day but usually i look at myself with pity and shame. when i try really hard to not care about what other people might think, then i'm able to feel better. but usually how i look at myself is how i think other people look at me. some days i think of myself as just someone who's missing parts of their body but most days i feel like a deformed person, which i am. i can't stand being pitied because it only shows how pitiful my life is