I Can Forgive, But Not Forget

One question about my molestation has always stuck with me: Can I ever forgive my molester for what she did? It sticks with me because I'm really not sure what my answer is. It always bothered me that she got away with what she did, especially if she's been doing the same to other children. But over time, I've come to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was a teenager when she molested me and had a boyfriend, maybe she saw the things she did to me as a way of experimenting, maybe she's matured now and regrets what she did. Not that any of it matters but it's just a way of possibly understanding her mentality. But even if that were exactly the case and I came face-to-face with her and she poured her guts out to me apologizing for what she did, would I be able to forgive her? I don't know. It would be asking a lot considering how long it went on for and how many times she molested me, how brazen she got with it likely because she knew she would get away with it. Then there's the fact that she was hired by mom to be taking care of me and my hard-working single mother was working two jobs to be able to pay her. She helped us out a lot and would even do so on her own free time but still, she wasn't doing it for free and was pretty much getting money for molesting me! And of course, there's how traumatic it was for me. I may be doing fine now but it affected me for a long time and no child should ever have to be put through such emotional trauma. That is what I will remember the most. I would like to be able to forgive and would like to think that I can but I just don't know. Maybe I will be able to forgive her over time but she made sure that I would never forget.

And please, I'm not asking for any sympathy with this. I'm just trying to vent and be more open with my experience. It helps getting it out.