I Am Sad

I Really Am Sad, Most Of The Time... I am sad, from the loss of family to the inevitable fate we all suffer, and to the loss of what should have been but never was.  I lost my childhood to abuse, my teenage years to more abuse, and my innocence to the "bottle."  I ignored the cold dark place inside me for many, many years, numbing myself and pretending it didn't exist.  Now I can no longer ignore the deafening silence of abject hopelessness and loneliness inside of me.  Most days I wish for death to come, and go to sleep disappointed once more.
I keep hoping that posting here will alleviate my feelings somewhat, but it seems to deepen my sadness.