I Was A Victim Of Emotional And Mental Abuse
I don't remeber a lot of my childhood. I'm having a hard time recently because a lot of my childhood memories are coming back. I wish it was the good memories because I know they are there.
I've been feeling extreamly depressed recently.
And my repressed memories have been popping up.
One memory that has been appearing in my head today was when I drew my sister a picture at school. I was really proud of it and I showed it to her. And she told me she hated it because it was so ugly and she crumpled it right in front of me.
I don't remeber this but my sister told me she use to hit me when I would say NICE things.
Idk why my memories are coming back but it's making me really depressed.
But I feel it's because I'm around people who are really kind to me and tell me I'm good. People are actually telling me that they are impressed with me.
So it's almost like my brain is bringing back the times where people made me feel like I was horrible and unimportant.
They also listen to me and tell me that I'm funny and interesting.
My sister constantly tells me that I'm so boring and I don't know how to tell stories. That's why she can't ever hear me when I talk because I don't know how to talk.
I've also been realising that nothing has really changed since I was a kid.
So maybe my mind is reopening things to show me a pattern?
I've found out why I've always my entire life thought I wasn't good at anything. Because it's basically been engraved into my mind without me realizeing it.
I'm mostly stressed out about all my wasted potential. Because when I look back at my life I really remeber how extreamly smart and talented I was. I was honestly really brilliant.
It was never nourished as a child.
And now I have grown up to be a talentless 26 year old. I litterally have no skills that can get me anywhere.
Because only self doubt was nourished.
I've been feeling extreamly depressed recently.
And my repressed memories have been popping up.
One memory that has been appearing in my head today was when I drew my sister a picture at school. I was really proud of it and I showed it to her. And she told me she hated it because it was so ugly and she crumpled it right in front of me.
I don't remeber this but my sister told me she use to hit me when I would say NICE things.
Idk why my memories are coming back but it's making me really depressed.
But I feel it's because I'm around people who are really kind to me and tell me I'm good. People are actually telling me that they are impressed with me.
So it's almost like my brain is bringing back the times where people made me feel like I was horrible and unimportant.
They also listen to me and tell me that I'm funny and interesting.
My sister constantly tells me that I'm so boring and I don't know how to tell stories. That's why she can't ever hear me when I talk because I don't know how to talk.
I've also been realising that nothing has really changed since I was a kid.
So maybe my mind is reopening things to show me a pattern?
I've found out why I've always my entire life thought I wasn't good at anything. Because it's basically been engraved into my mind without me realizeing it.
I'm mostly stressed out about all my wasted potential. Because when I look back at my life I really remeber how extreamly smart and talented I was. I was honestly really brilliant.
It was never nourished as a child.
And now I have grown up to be a talentless 26 year old. I litterally have no skills that can get me anywhere.
Because only self doubt was nourished.
26-30, F
