I Have Been Emotionally Manipulated

I recently found out my husband has been cheating on me and it started after the first year milestone. He talked to her the same way he did me. He made me look and sound awful as a wife. Which is exactly how he portrayed his ex before me as well. He turned me into a person I wasn’t who was overly reliant and dependent on him whereas I’m usually very independent....

I know all this because the woman he cheated on me with reached out to me once she found out I existed. He claimed we were separated already when he first met her. How I emotionally abused him and all these awful things I never did. Mind you these are the same claims he told me about his other exes when we were first dating. It blew my mind! He would do and say all the exact same things. All the right things. To get in really good with his next target.

Looking back it makes me sick how easily I fell for his bullshit without looking into things. But I was young and stupid then. I should have known better.

One night it even got physical after I told him I’d been talking to her and how she helped expose him. He shoved me into the wall and I banged the back of my head from the force it left a bruise and swelled up. He then got in my face saying not to overreact and that he didn’t push me that hard. That’s the only time in my entire life I’ve truly been afraid of someone.

Now I find myself stuck. He’s been refusing to get divorced. He either claims he doesn’t have the money (which my dad said he would pay for it) or he doesn’t want to ruin my life or fill in the blank with an excuse here. It’s driving me crazy to still be legally attached to this horrible man that used me and does nothing but lie for his own advancement.