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I Want to Find a Job That I Love

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do and I realize that I don't really know what it is that I want to do.

I thought about the Army, going back to school, trying to get a teaching job in Japan.
So many other things but I'm just not sure. As of lately, I've been switching between a lot of part-time jobs and now I can see how people end up doing that. I'm looking for what I want to do but I keep feeling that with each job something is missing.

There is a lot of stuff I like to do but maybe it is a mix of anxiety and fear holding me back.

I have really been trying to work on getting out of that everybody-hates-me mindset because now I realize just how much it has been holding me back. 99% or the reason I am scared to go back to school is because that is when my anxiety and depression become the worst.

But its seems the best possible mindset to have with anything is to think that everyone will want me. And if they don't take me its gonna be their loss.
I'm not sure what type of risks I want to take though. And I'm worried about money.

Today will be the first day of my next new job and I hope it works well. But I am also going into this job knowing that there are other things I want to do. But I am not entirely sure how to get to the point where I can do them.

I'm so confused

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kimmy159 · F

Gosh I can relate to this so much, aside from the anxiety.
Mostly I just feel like there isn't anything I like doing in the workfield xD and the things I like doing either require finances or some at home time first to get started on it, which I can't really affort at this point XD

What job did you start? ^^

TURTLEGOD

@kimmy159
Its like trying to pick one flavor of ice cream. So many to choose from it ends up seeming like you dont really want any flavor.

I started a job at the airport as a customer serive representative. I check peoples bags in and then stand there looking fancy and super professional in my business suit.

kimmy159 · F

Ahahah I like your reference to the ice cream 😂 lol tbh that sounds pretty epic with the suit and all :D the job doesn’t sound too bad either ^^ @TURTLEGOD

TURTLEGOD

@kimmy159
To be honest i really only like vanilla bean ice cream.

But yea i never thought i would be wearing a suit and heels but here i am, hahaha

kimmy159 · F

I used to only eat vanilla until I discovered yoghurt ice cream 🤤🤤

Hahah whuttt with heels and all? Now that is fancy :D @TURTLEGOD

TURTLEGOD

@kimmy159
Oh, wait! Yoghurt is good too!

Right, thats what i thought too. I never thought id be part of the fancy life style, hahaha

kimmy159 · F

If you ever come across some ice cream selling... thing?
And they happen to have raspberry yoghurt flavor ~ try it 🤤🤤

:p I’d so love to see your outfit xD any examples on google of them? I know you probably don’t want to share an actual picture of it :D @TURTLEGOD

TURTLEGOD

Oh no😖 i cant eat any type of berries they make me sick🤢
I dont mind showing the outfit. But seeing me try to walk in heels is something else😅

kimmy159 · F

Hahah :D I suppose it takes a bit of practice ;p
Whoah you can’t eat berries? Aww, don’t worry, I’ll eat them all on your behalf ;p @TURTLEGOD

TURTLEGOD

Are you skilled with heels? Im obviously a level -2, haha

I sure do pick berries out of any food people try to disguise them in.

kimmy159 · F

@TURTLEGOD Hahah it depends on how you define skilled XD Since I don't know the extent of the levels XD I'll describe it haha ;p I like high heels but when I go to a party, I always bring a spare pair of flat shoes xD
There are a lot of paths with boulders in the cities here, I wouldn't even dare to dream walking with heels there and yet some women are brave enough to do it (it must be magic, can't be anything else XD).
And finally if all circumstances are right and I do wear heels, I usually can manage for about 2 hours depending on the height.

What level does that make me? ;p

TURTLEGOD

@kimmy159
Ive been bringing spare flats too. My feet scream thank you when ever i finally take the heels off, hahaha.

But you have a lot of knowledge about how to exist in heels and 2 hours is a good amount of time so id say your a level 6 out of 24🤔

kimmy159 · F

Oh wow a solid 6 out of 24 😂 we should practice together ;p @TURTLEGOD

TURTLEGOD

@kimmy159
Yea, practice in public so everyone can see how much of an awkward turtle I am😂

You can probably run in heels but just holding out on info😏😂

kimmy159 · F

Oh yes I could run in them haha ;p
You’re an awesome awkward turtle ^^
Nothing more fun than a public watching you being awkward haha xD I have no problem with that actually ;p @TURTLEGOD

TURTLEGOD

@kimmy159

If you can run in them that might bump you up to level 12😂
Theres nothing better than a person who conpliments a turtle😁
I act like a fool when im with people sometimes. You just gotta be prepared.