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I Have a Special Needs Child

There needs to be more awareness in the general public. When people try to joke with a child who DOES NOT GET JOKES they are not being rude when they get upset, and if they turning away, averting their eyes, walking faster to outpace you, or covering their ears that's a pretty clear sign that they are not taking what you say as a joke. I know people don't mean any harm, but from a parent's standpoint hearing a child claim that "I really tried mommy, I just don't understand what they are talking about" is heartbreaking. Dealing with the backlash from just that situation can be even worse. THEY cannot read body language like you or I, but they put out pretty damn clear signals. Please pay attention to the 'please leave me alone' look on their face. I cannot even count how many times I have said to people "hey sorry, but he doesn't really feel like playing right now" and got an F U look in return. Autism really does speak, people need to learn to hear it.

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MissMollyCharlotte0702

Just say,”I’m sorry...my son has autism...and we are working on getting him involved with other children.” The FU is a sign of ignorance. People in general really will understand with a kind explanation. I work with disabilities so I know a little of what you are dealing with.

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Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@FunReader55 My son is very bright, but his social skills are very lacking. And fine motor skills are way behind. Now me....I at times have trouble reading, or at least comprehending what I read.

Aww I'm so happy he had a breakthrough like that! I know I'll burst into tears when my daughter says momma.

FunReader55 · 51-55, M

Oh gosh, you’re a saint!! Hang in there. I don’t know if there is anything we could do but if you ever need something, ask!!

Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@FunReader55 Thank you very much, and same goes to both of you. It's always nice to bounce ideas off of other people in a similar situation.

SW-User

I am sorry that you have to deal with this. My son is mildly autistic, so I understand some of what you are going through. It can be heartbreaking. Your son may not be able to do this, but we were able to teach our son how to fake it. He studied the other children like they were bugs. He is 18 now and usually knows what people will do, even if he doesn't know why they do it. He still gets overwhelmed, and I still watch like a hawk for those signals. Yes, people should try and understand more than they do. It doesn't take a lot of work to notice that they are obviously uncomfortable.

FunReader55 · 51-55, M

I have a 19 year old son on the spectrum. We always used to joke that we wished autism came with a cast so all the morons in public would shut up!! I wish I had some good advice but hang in there!! I know not everyones story turns out well but ours has. But we remember well the days you described perfectky!!

This is not to make laugh but msybe smile: imagine a 6’8 well over 300 pound man child crying like he witnessed his entire family gunned down because he spilled his coke. Only to completely enrage and beret the “fool” that tred to help out by handing him a pepsi!! Lol!!

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MissMollyCharlotte0702

Haha!! I have a client of 36 who gets really angry is he can’t have a COKE!! He’s actually been arrested and sent to jail when he was out in the community with a carer and the carer has said he can’t have a COKE. @FunReader55

FunReader55 · 51-55, M

@Tinkerhell you know your going nuts when you start to question if they’re right!!! Lol!!

Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@FunReader55 Lol!!

Cajunfirefly · 41-45, F

Thank you for sharing. I have a 13 yr old on the spectrum. A few years ago I got in an altercation with a Children's Museum worker. She called my son rude bc he wasn't making eye contact with her. I said WTF! He has autism, he isnt going to make eye contact with you. She apologized and said he didnt look autistic. I lost it. People are ignorant.

Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@Cajunfirefly I know right! Autism does not make them look different. If they work in a place where they may come in contact with a child or adult on the spectrum they better damn sure know how to treat them, and recognize the signs.

Ahmedwagieh · 36-40, M

How cruel people can be!! even with no real intent... Be Strong.. you're a fighter

Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@Ahmedwagieh Thank you.

tomtracy438 · 41-45, M

Stay strong

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tomtracy438 · 41-45, M

@Tinkerhell anytime thanx for sharing.

Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@tomtracy438 Aye, we all gotta stick together.

tomtracy438 · 41-45, M

@Tinkerhell yes we do.

mathsman · 70-79, M

So, Autustic Spectrum, with specifics.
I meet many in school, as a teacher.

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mathsman · 70-79, M

@Tinkerhell 😀 That's the allure of being a teacher, the material is the same, the minds so different.

Tinkerhell · 41-45, F

@mathsman There's nothing more important, beyond parents, to a child than a teacher who actually wants to not only teach, but learn as well.

mathsman · 70-79, M

@Tinkerhell Yesssss, I remember writing something like that in one of my applications for a teaching post.
I'd been churning out the same boring stuff on so many application forms, and then rewrote the whole letter.
I believed it then and still do. And I tell my students.

There are always one or two to make a real connection with.

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