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I Am In Counseling

So, today is our first counseling session, and everything I have read about my situation and others like it suggests that couples counseling is a bad idea with abusive relationships. Evidently, it can make the abused feel at fault for the abuses. Well, I stayed, so in some way, I am at fault for enabling this mess. However, I do not feel in any way responsible for his actions. None. But, I do have bad habits that I would like to break. I"m just wondering how long we will continue counseling together. On some level, I think it should be individual - at least until I have an idea of the behaviors I need to rethink and correct. Who knows... maybe this is a good way to start?

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StarLily · 51-55, F

During the last couple of years of my marriage I sought individual counseling as a last attempt to save my marriage. A while after, my ex began individual counseling... And then we went for a while together until he stopped showing up.
I think what you heard is true... Sometimes in abusive relationships one person will begin to heal and get better, thus, not feeding into the abuse and enabling which causes the dysfunctional dynamics to change ( this was the case with me). However, If both people are on board then there's always hope for the relationship to heal I think....