I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

I think about it all the time, I keep looking back to the past and I get angry about it all.......It was a severe satanic attack, and there is nobody to blame but satan himself. For the spirit of Jezebel tempted me, by running images like a impure fantasy in my mind....I was completely uncomfortable with it and begged God to forgive me, and then I thought I didn't want to think of that man in that way....I had made the right decision.....But God saw the pattern and the possibilities that came along with having a bad dream like that that I could have blindly resorted to the next best thing and developed romantic feelings for this man instead, But God put a stop to that by inspiring a romantic movie about us, and once he saw that he casted stones at me, and I had failed in my faith that Christ takes away the sins of the world and thought the worst that maybe he had seen my dream, like as if God didn't forgive me when He did! I fell and became possessed by the spirit of Jezebel who tempted me in the first place....I was so traumatized, and he became a vessel of satan and started abusing me and criticizing me, and by his lewd questions and comments and by violating my children....We were supposed to be brother and sister in Christ. I mean we were both professed Christians.....But then satan brought out the big guns and a group of undercovers and their psychic accused me of every sort of perverse evil their is! I wasn't a pervert, I am not responsible for what the spirit of Jezebel does to me, this is not sin we are dealing with but demonic forces! I am not guilty of what satan does to me......But the false prophet psychic accused me of every perverse story she could conjure up, she was disgusting with her half truths that yes were partly true, and lies a twisting of my story, and a perversion of my life and accusations that I was not guilty of doing ever! He turned on me and ran........All I ever wanted from him was understanding, someone who speaks my language, a brother in Christ whom I could look up to and love, I didn't see him as temptation, that was all the spirit of Jezebels doing trying to make me look corrupt.....The damage is done.......I know and understand that I was not only fighting my demons but his as well though he isn't schizo, like me, his mind was still affected and he wore his sins on his sleeve...I forgive him for being a vessel of the satanic attack.....But I still remember what he did to me, and though I don't want to hold it over his head, and I want to stop looking back because it's over now.....But I'm still trying to figure it out....I am satisfied with what I know, God has explained it all to me, and revealed some things to me that I really didn't know.....I have made my peace with God, I still love him, and I'm trying to let it all go, and move on......But now what, I know not to pour new wine into old wineskins for they may burst and waste the new wine.....That's where I fear I am at with him.....We are damaged old wine skins.....Is it all just water under a bridge? Has forgiveness prevailed, could love conquor all? Are we out of the woods? Or is the damage too great to clean up? Should I even try? It's just that I know that I'll see him one day, someday......I have no idea how to handle that.....I do forgive him, I do understand what happened, does he? Should I explain it to him or move on and act like nothing ever happend and make the best of it. I still care. And look, no more spirit of Jezebel!