I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

I wish I wasn't crazy, hearing voices, dillusional, paranoid, lack of motivation....And everything else that goes along with it. I never feel safe, I don't feel safe around certain people like it will aggravate my schizophrenia or something, these demons threatening doom and gloom, Feeling stupid for being dissallusioned. People thinking I'm too weird to be friends with or too dangerous....Not me but my demons. Watching my children suffer when I suffer...