I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

I am afraid to reach out and make friends with the people who catch my interests. Because I have too heavy of a burden first off I have schizoaffective disorder, that in itself makes me crazy and a weirdo, second of all I am being gang stalked by a group of under covers who exploit me with their so called psychic who spreads all sorts of evil accusations about me all around town. I don't want to let people in and have to help carry that burden, besides they've probably already been briefed about me being told that I want men sexually or romantically which is a lie from the pits of hell! I love my husband and made my vows I am not a cheater! But if I can't love my brothers in Christ how can I love anyone, if they won't let me, I'm so lonely......I am simply looking for people who I can be myself around, and share my life with and to love them for who they are with a sincere brotherly love because that is who I am......But I am shy because I feel that I can't bring whats on my plait to the table because it's too much for most to handle....Nobody likes a crazy person, and nobody likes to hear about my problems, and nobody can handle the undercovers and their wicked psychic and all of her accusations and lies. I'm left with nobody except for my family, and I'm sorry it would just be nice to have more friends, new faces, new experieces with people, but first could anyone ever accept me for me? Probably not, and I don't want to impose that on anyone, that's probably why I've been alone for so many years. And suffer constant rejection.