I Want to Be Excepted For Who I Am

My whole life I was given a chance. A privilege. To change the person I once was. I messed it up I hurt people. I have one more chance to make things right. Before I get older and I don't want it to pass by. I used to be so jealous and my main purpose for leaving was to change that.but of course. I gave into my old ways and hurt the person I loved again. I find myself reccolecting things that did not happen to me. Though I was emotionally scarred from them. Perhaps I was emotionally scarred from what happened to another person. A better person. A person I had the chance to be. But im unsure if I will ever get that chance again. As a child I used to dream of true love. Being swept off my feet. Or. Being a prince and sweeping someone else off their feet. I longed for marriage and happiness. But now I find myself longing for a best friend to confess everything to. A chance to obtain an education and Excel in a field to finally provide for myself and perhaps someone I love. But it's hard to love now. Because I've destroyed myself to deeply so emmensly that I lay here missing all the care and love I once had. Im scared. I know I have to leave before im left. Because things got better when he came. But. I'd rather leave then continue on alone and scared in. My own sinly ways when he leaves me. I love you Abba pass the message along. Im willing to change. My only fear is it's too late. To change emotion.