I Am Letting Go And Moving On
I think for the first time in a long time I'm finally moving on. I'm 25 years old and I realize depression is part of my genetic makeup, it always will be, and I know I'm still gonna have those bad days or weeks, but I can finally say I've accepted my past. I've accepted all those horrible things that happened to me when I was a teenager and a kid, but you what, I'm not that person anymore. I'm not living in that time anymore, there's nothing but memories that have kept me from letting it go. It's not physically here anymore, and I'm a full grown adult now, I can deal with my issues in a healthy way. Sometimes I'm gonna want my space and just be alone, but I know I'll be ok. You here me all those bad things from the past, your controlling me anymore, you don't choose how I live my life, I do, so burn in hell!!! I understand I can't change the past and I can't predict the future, but what I can do is control the here and now, this second, this instant. The rest I'll take life as it comes. Nothing will ever be perfect, the people in this world, the world itself, there will always be an up and a down, meet the downs with a positive thought and get out of that negative thought. What's the only thing that can destroy a negative? A positive all the time. I can't keep letting what happened to me in adolescence shape who I am today, it's just not logical, it's not realistic. I'm a grown man with a great career and hopefully soon a great life partner. We as humans can't forget our past, but we goddamn sure as hell can LEAVE IT IN THE PAST. This post doesn't mean that everything is 100% going great for me, or that I have a girlfriend, or even that I found a new friend, but what it does mean is that I have finally accepted who I am and what my purpose is. It's more so a coming of age, growing up, and entering into that next adult phase of my life where I have to start living my life and stop dwelling on the past kind of thing. It doesn't mean my depression and anxiety has gone away and I'm all better, nope, doesn't work like that. It means I'm better than my past, and for once in my life I've started to accept myself, because I am good enough!