I Am Letting Go And Moving On

It has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through to get to this point, but I feel like I am as close as I am going to get. I think a huge part of the problem with me moving on is the fact that when I say certain things I truly mean it and give myself over 500%. She said please never leave me. I said I won't... when I say I will never leave you I will not. I said I love you and it is hard for me to say unless I really truly mean it to the core of my being. The promises I made I was looking forward to fulfilling. She was one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, and I mean outer beauty and inner beauty. I had fully committed to her, we could not be together yet due to distance and situations in our lives but I had already made the decision that I was not going to date other women. I was hers, 100% hers.

She broke it off and it is hard for me to have that commitment sitting out there and not be able to fulfill it. It is almost impossible for me to commit to something so fully and not be able to follow through. I have tried hard to let myself be ok with not being able to follow through but it is just not who I am. I may never recover 100%, and I may never be able to get over this unfulfilled commitments, but I feel like I am as moved on as I can possibly be. Part of me will always love her, I really can't help that but another woman will come in my life and at least let me fulfill all of these commitments with her and let me fill my heart with more love for her, than this other one and someday hopefully I won't have to think about not being able to fulfill the promises I made to this other girl