That’s a nice analogy. I think you should take it further by trying to understanding what’s written in each book. Burning down the library will stop your growth. Sometimes growth has to include discomfort.

We all hate it, but it’s worth experiencing it for the results.

I think you did a good job here expressing yourself. No doubt you're going through a lot, but there are a lot of people and services to help out. You just have to reach out to them to let them know you want some help. One thing I have learned through my life is that if you don't seek help, you will rarely get it. I know it is hard to ask for help with emotional stuff. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. You did well just writing what you did.

Talk to your doctor. Your emotional health needs to be addressed for the health of your baby.

If you can't express yourself well through talking, writing is just fine. Feel free to write to me. I try to be a good listener.