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I Am Struggling To Keep Myself Together

I am a single mom to a three year old boy. Three months pregnant. The father of my child(ren) has been physically abusive. He has lied about other women. Claims he doesn't know why he does it. I live with my mother and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has molested me multiple times since I was fourteen. I haven't slept in years because I listen for someone trying to open my door. Less than a month ago he was driving me home from work and out of the corner of my eye I saw him touching himself through his shorts. Completely erect. I immediately told my mom and once again she took his side. They claimed he had a rash. She didn't consider my feelings at all. I have to move by July 1st and I have nowhere to go. I have no family. I have no one. I work forty plus hours a week as a server. I've had a horrible fever/cold this past week. I try to stay strong in front of my son because no one should have to see their mom cry. Everything is horrible. I have no one to talk to about this. My life has never been easy. I thought the darkness in my life was over but once again I am facing it. These pregnancy hormones have me feeling horrible about myself and everything else. I can't help but blame myself for everything. If I would have made better choices? I don't know. I just want to sleep until everything is over and makes sense again.

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lonesurvivor

The good thing about choices, is that you can change the way you make them. The past is gone, and cannot be undone, but the future CAN be better than the past.

I don't know your state and city/town, therefore I don't know the specifics of services available to you. However, in most communities, there as options available to those in need. Have you applied for public housing? No, it's not the best place in the world to live..but how can it possibly be worse than the situation now? You may also want to check into shelters for women/children, and apply for any and all assistance for which you qualify. No, it's not easy, but it's necessary for you ...and just as importantly, for your children...to be in a healthier situation.

As far as the children's father, you do not say why it is you don't live with him, and it's none of my business. Does he help support your (plural) child(ren)? If not, why not? It doesn't really matter why he continues to mistreat you...what matters is that it keeps happening, and your family cannot depend on this man. He needs help before you allow him in your life, or that of your children. If he refuses to get this help, why should you want your children to be influenced by him? You want them healthy and happy, and it seems this man is incapable of providing that.

I'm sorry if you think I've been harsh or too critical. It was not my intention. I wish you the very best of luck with your future.

111888my

Hang in there, I feel for you and hope you over this as a strong women. And that you find a real man that will be there for you and your kids. Just a few hours ago me and my friend where talking that why do good women find these so call men. But wish you the very best.

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