I Lost My Father

My dearest friend's father is doing very poorly... I've been thinking of her and her father non stop for days. It has me also thinking of my father. My dad wasn't a man to show much affection. He worked several jobs, had his flaws aplenty, drank too much and had a bad temper. He didn't have a father through much of his life... men in my family tree go back to the earth at a young age... and he was born late.
He was a hard shelled man, and the only time I ever saw him cry was when an animal suffered. He was driving once, a family of quail ran out in front of us... he swerved, but still hit 2 of the babies. He came back to the car holding them and crying. The only time I remember him hugging me was when my first horse died. The two of us stood over him as the vet left, tears in our eyes and he hugged me. That broke any ability I had to hold back and I just sobbed.
My memory of him when I was younger has changed as I matured... he seems less hard the more I endure from life. I think he was just a man who struggled, who tried his best, who knew much adversity and overcame however he was able to.
He always provided and he didn't have the most appreciative children to help him, either.
Sorry Dad. I'm still learning too.
Miss you.