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How Do You Help Someone Who Refuses To Help Themselves When Help Is Offered....

Like they won’t cooperate in making changes that can help them greatly.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Avoid them. I do not want to hear the same story over and over, I’ll freak out on them. That’s something I can’t stand.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
@cherokeepatti I don’t go to Walmart anymore, lol. Seriously....where I live you get stabbed. I’d have to drive 45 minutes to the first decent one. I see enough around here. It’s very diverse around where I live. 10 minutes either way means either the hood or millions of dollars.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Keepitsimple The city has done it more than a few times here. There’s a meth camp at one of the places they cleaned up before. They said within 2 weeks they started coming back. I don’t know how but they manage to find more tents and crap to live in and more clothes etc. They found a dead man’s body in that camp about 3 months after they got it cleaned up, he probably froze to death in the winter and it was found by a visitor to the wilderness area..there is a fishing lake nearby. It’s costing the city money, big money to keep cleaning up these messes. I think if they refuse help they need to be taken far away to a mental hospital and left there.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Keepitsimple I go to the newest one south of the city, it’s too far for the homeless to walk down there mostly people from a little town south of there or students or people who don’t want to go to the ghetto Walmart where I used to work. I don’t believe I’ve seen any incidents at that one on the south side at all, except one greeter talking to her lead telling her “there won’t be any trouble if you don’t start any trouble” in a very stern voice. (She is one of the sweetest employees there is at that store).
I quit trying to save the world. It's a battle that never ends.
QueenandCrown · 41-45, F
I have relatives like this and one thing I've learned is that there's some people who are content on staying miserable/unhealthy/hopeless..
QueenandCrown · 41-45, F
@cherokeepatti I understand well. They had to open tent cities here to try to keep homeless contain to certain areas.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@QueenandCrown they won’t stay in certain areas. The druggies like to live in wooded areas. I think the wooded areas need to be cleared, brush-hogged, wild cedar trees & weeds removed, lower branches trimmed so that nobody can hide in them and they can be monitored.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@QueenandCrown and this is the best thing about new homes and businesses being built on those green areas, it means less space for them to hide out in near other residential areas. I just thought of that this morning when I drove down one street that is being filled with new home construction about 6 blocks south of my addition.
wildbill83 · 36-40, M
a shovel helps... 🤔

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@wildbill83 yeah but someone will get in trouble for that. There is a wooded area about 3 blocks from where I live and I saw a Walmart shopping cart back inside of it before the trees leafed out. I see a man with a dog in a shopping cart walking around. And my neighbor walks several miles most days and has been yelled at by one guy when she wouldn’t pay attention to him. She told me she thought the whole area around here is getting weird. We are both afraid to walk to a local park because it backs up to woods and there are well-worn paths in the woods....afraid someone will pop out at us. The police says there are homeless living there and sniffing spray paint. They are brain-damaged beyond repair at that point.
Star1 · F
PhilDeep · 51-55, M
I just step back; they have their own path that they'll follow and prefer it that way.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@PhilDeep their path intersects outs and that’s a big problem
PhilDeep · 51-55, M
@cherokeepatti Sounds very difficult. I'm not sure what I'd do. Maybe stay silent if the matter were ever raised and try to avoid as much situations in which it occured, perhaps.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@PhilDeep I was asking because this question applies to homeless people that are refusing to cooperate with housing instead choosing to live in wooded areas inside of the city and creating biohazard waste by defecating on the ground and hauling in tons of stuff that has to be cleaned up by the city at great expense. The latest was in a wooded area in the old part of the city that someone donated to the city. The city spent $50,000 to clean up the tract of land and hauled off 70 tons of crap & things they had littered the area with....20 people created this mess.
Crazywaterspring · 61-69, M
Some cities give them bus tickets "back home.". They usually return. This state is really tight with welfare requirements.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Crazywaterspring I think some cities on the West coast and other cities in this county or state has given them bus tickets here. That’s the problem. We didn’t have all these problems before. The word has gotten out that the pickings are good here and they are sent on their merry way to join in on using the resources at hand. Doubtful they are on welfare if they are living in the woods. They get free meals at one of two soup kitchens. And shelter at Salvation Army. Free clothes, hygiene items, snacks, bottled water and many other things for free. And quite a few drink or use drugs and get their money panhandling or stealing things and selling them.
Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F
You can't. Sometimes you just have to let them be and maybe one day they will ask for help.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Sunflower2021 They are costing our city a lot of money to clean up after.
Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F
@cherokeepatti That's the cities job to handle it not yours.
MrAboo · 36-40, M
There’s nothing you can do I say to help some one want to help themselves, if they don’t already not want to help themselves.
Rolexeo · 26-30, M
Depends how serious. You can give them an ultimatum if it's harming your relationship
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Rolexeo It’s about the homeless who refused to cooperate in getting on a housing list. The case workers offered to help them get their ID and birth cretics tea but they are refusing. Some are druggies and others with a mental problem. They are camping in wooded areas and parks and trashing them and creating biohazards that the city has to clean up. 70 tons of trash was removed from one area that cost $50,000 to remove. My own opinion is that they should get one warning and then be made a ward of the state and dealt with that way
adorbz · 26-30, F
If there is no obvious way, you wait until there is. Or you leave, or both.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@adorbz this question is in regard to homeless who are coming here to live, they are being fed and given all sorts of things but some refuse to sign up for a housing waiting list or even get their ID or birth certificate with the help of a social worker.
Id be patient if they are important enough...

Insisting does not help..
Riemann · 31-35, M
I'd like to know the answer as well
ABCDEF7 · M
Time is a great teacher.
they just wont get it
Dino11 · M
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Dino11 what if they are living in wooded areas in the city and shitting it up literally and leaving trash strewn all over. Seriously this is happening in my city in many of the wooded areas. The city was bequeathed a wooded parcel of land within the city limits in the original part of the city. In order to make the land useable they had to remove 70 tons of feces, rotten food, Walmart shopping carts, clothing, mattresses and other junk. 70 TONS, that’s way more than many extreme hoarders have removed from their property including stuff that has to be discarded that’s outside their home. The city identified 20 people that were camping inside of those woods....they sent social workers to help them get signed up for housing. 3 people were immediately placed and 8 others were signed up for the waiting list. The other 9 refused help, including the social worker’s offer of getting them ID and birth certificates. Either drug addiction or mental illness being the root of the problem. The area has been cleaned up, tree branches trimmed so that no one can hide in it, and there are plans on turning it into a public park. The city spent $50,000 cleaning up this one spot this past month. That’s a big chunk out of the city budget and these cleanups are ongoing.
SW-User
Leave them to it
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@SW-User they are wandering all over the city and many are committing crimes and fouling up parks and wooded areas within the city not far from residential areas. City removed 70 tons of excrement and all sorts of trash in one small wooded parcel at the cost of $50,000 this month
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F
You can try but until the person themselves makes the decision to take action to change their circumstances then there’s nothing anyone else can do to help. Believe me I’ve made myself sick over trying to make my sister stop throwing away her life.
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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@SW-User It is the homeless here who won’t even cooperate in getting housing. They are shitting up the wooded areas inside of the city and leaving tons of crap, garbage, clothes, shopping carts etc. The city spent $50,000 removing 70 tons of garbage this past month from just one area.
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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@sspec Not when they are polluting our city. They use the bathroom out in the open and can spread disease. It has cost $50,000 to clean up one small area and there have been several clean-ups besides this one. It is getting expensive for us.
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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@sspec We do and they don’t, that’s the problem. They have no right to set up tents inside of the city and foul it up.

 
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