I Surprise Myself Sometimes
I don't make friends so easily and so socially akward that I am surprised that I am able to find a boyfriend.
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Tatsumi · 31-35, M
Guys are pretty simple. They generally won't care about anything except attractiveness. So long as they are physically attracted to a female, any other positive attributes are just icing on the cake. At least for awhile.
Women base a man's ability to be social as a check mark on the list of overall desireable traits. It means something. But it doesn't to men. And women have a list that's like 10,000 interchangeable qualities long. But men only have one quality *requirement*.
Women base a man's ability to be social as a check mark on the list of overall desireable traits. It means something. But it doesn't to men. And women have a list that's like 10,000 interchangeable qualities long. But men only have one quality *requirement*.
SW-User
You mean men are shallow.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@Girlwithsilverheart: No. I don't mean that. If you want to talk about shallowness, then we can also talk about how women would never date below their class. Or come up with other deal breakers that ultimately mean nothing.
Women say they're all about personality and the "person", but in the end, everyone goes after what benefits them and what their inner desires are--for themselves. Women naturally seek protection and provision, given that these things aren't as necessary in modern society; the only thing women seek is entertainment. That doesn't make women full of substance and "better" than men.
Further, given the amount of men who literally die protecting their wives and girlfriends--counting in the millions--and the 0 amount of women who protect their men, at all, in pretty much any capacity, I would say that if we want to put love on a balance sheet, men are far more capable of meaningful love than women are. Because men actually sacrifice for it. Women just receive and expect to receive.
No. What I was talking about was availability of reproductive resources. Women have eggs. This makes them naturally afraid of sex, so it makes them consider male value and makes them more picky. That initial stage love that women experience is just as shallow, as it is simply a measurement of male value vs egg value.
Men have an infinite amount of sperm, which means they have lower "requirements" for a potential mate. That's what I was talking about.
So, if we want to talk about shallowness, women are still human. Sorry. But good job seeing only what you want to see and ignoring everything else.
If you want to know what is "shallow", it's you. Because you latched onto a physical compulsion and called it the entirety of maleness. A man's instinctual desires do not make him who he is. A man is a collection of thoughts and ideas and desires. You're shallow for thinking otherwise.
Women say they're all about personality and the "person", but in the end, everyone goes after what benefits them and what their inner desires are--for themselves. Women naturally seek protection and provision, given that these things aren't as necessary in modern society; the only thing women seek is entertainment. That doesn't make women full of substance and "better" than men.
Further, given the amount of men who literally die protecting their wives and girlfriends--counting in the millions--and the 0 amount of women who protect their men, at all, in pretty much any capacity, I would say that if we want to put love on a balance sheet, men are far more capable of meaningful love than women are. Because men actually sacrifice for it. Women just receive and expect to receive.
No. What I was talking about was availability of reproductive resources. Women have eggs. This makes them naturally afraid of sex, so it makes them consider male value and makes them more picky. That initial stage love that women experience is just as shallow, as it is simply a measurement of male value vs egg value.
Men have an infinite amount of sperm, which means they have lower "requirements" for a potential mate. That's what I was talking about.
So, if we want to talk about shallowness, women are still human. Sorry. But good job seeing only what you want to see and ignoring everything else.
If you want to know what is "shallow", it's you. Because you latched onto a physical compulsion and called it the entirety of maleness. A man's instinctual desires do not make him who he is. A man is a collection of thoughts and ideas and desires. You're shallow for thinking otherwise.
SW-User
@ColdPenguin: ok you're not shallow but sexist. It's okay for a guy to like a girl only for her beauty but it's not okay for a woman to like a guy just because she needs protection or by age and they are incapable of love. Last time I checked, men are supposed to protect their women. Women does take care of men by looking after his house, cooking, cleaning and nursing him when he falls ill. She give up her last name for her. She goes through immense pain just to deliver the man's baby. Some even give their jobs just to look after the family. Can you find any men who does that? I don't think women does not sacrifice for men. And I'm pretty sure they are women soldiers in the army, who had died for their husband, father and brothers. I have seen relationships where women are ready to give up their lives for their lovers while there are men who cheat their girlfriends.
I'm not saying women are better than men. But no gender is better than the other. I'm sorry if you never found a girl who likes a man for his personality but I consider myself as someone from that category. I love my boyfriend for what he is, which means I'm capable of love a person as any other men. And for the record, I respect and admire men who likes women for her personality rather than her beauty, which is really few.
I'm not saying women are better than men. But no gender is better than the other. I'm sorry if you never found a girl who likes a man for his personality but I consider myself as someone from that category. I love my boyfriend for what he is, which means I'm capable of love a person as any other men. And for the record, I respect and admire men who likes women for her personality rather than her beauty, which is really few.
SW-User
I'm not surprised if you find such women as you say they are because you said yourself that you only like to date women if they're physically attractive. If I have the same interests as you have, I would find all the men shallow.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@Girlwithsilverheart: You're missing my point and putting words in my mouth. I said *both* are shallow, in contrast to your implicit statement that women are better than men. I never said it's "okay" or "not okay" to do anything.
I never said women don't take care of men, either.
Yes. You're entirely right. Men are "supposed" to die for their women. You don't think that weighs a bit more heavily than childbirth or cooking and cleaning?
Again. You miss my point. I never said men don't enjoy a woman's personality. A "requirement" is not the same as "everything". A woman's physical form is more important to a man, yes, but women would also say the same thing "If I'm not attracted to him, then there's no point", the thing that keeps people together is how they get along.
If you didn't mean that women are better than men, then say women are shallow, too. Otherwise, you did mean that women are better than men.
I never said women don't take care of men, either.
Yes. You're entirely right. Men are "supposed" to die for their women. You don't think that weighs a bit more heavily than childbirth or cooking and cleaning?
Again. You miss my point. I never said men don't enjoy a woman's personality. A "requirement" is not the same as "everything". A woman's physical form is more important to a man, yes, but women would also say the same thing "If I'm not attracted to him, then there's no point", the thing that keeps people together is how they get along.
If you didn't mean that women are better than men, then say women are shallow, too. Otherwise, you did mean that women are better than men.
SW-User
@ColdPenguin: I'm not denying some women are shallow. Like for instance, gold diggers. But I don't get it why men start to bash about women just because of that one who disappointed him. I mean, I would have been a feminist right now, looking at the count of men that cheated on me. No, I don't do that. Cos there are decent guys around.
Again you don't understand how hard it is to look after a family for a woman especially if it's a single mother or how painful a childbirth is. Sometimes woman die during childbirth too. Men can't understand it because they won't get a chance to go through it. I don't think that would have less 'weight' than someone dying in a war. I find it having same priority. I'm sorry if you can't get your priorities right.
Again you don't understand how hard it is to look after a family for a woman especially if it's a single mother or how painful a childbirth is. Sometimes woman die during childbirth too. Men can't understand it because they won't get a chance to go through it. I don't think that would have less 'weight' than someone dying in a war. I find it having same priority. I'm sorry if you can't get your priorities right.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@Girlwithsilverheart: And you don't understand how hard it is to provide for a family, then often get no respect for doing so, as it's just expected and not appreciated. Then get taken to divorce court and having to give up half of your life, and have them take your kids, even if the mother is a piece of shit. The truth is that women get precedence in society.
700 women die a year in childbirth. 5,000 men die in hard labor jobs per year.
I don't even know what this conversation turned into. It was about shallowness, not who has it worse.
You called all men shallow. So, in your words, "some women are shallow" and "all men are shallow, except some of them are shallow and decent". Well, I think everyone is shallow. It's only women are less obvious about everything.
Besides. Women are manipulators. I'd call that being shallow. And you must know pretty much all women do it on a regular basis.
700 women die a year in childbirth. 5,000 men die in hard labor jobs per year.
I don't even know what this conversation turned into. It was about shallowness, not who has it worse.
You called all men shallow. So, in your words, "some women are shallow" and "all men are shallow, except some of them are shallow and decent". Well, I think everyone is shallow. It's only women are less obvious about everything.
Besides. Women are manipulators. I'd call that being shallow. And you must know pretty much all women do it on a regular basis.
SW-User
@ColdPenguin: i didn't said all men are shallow. You sounded as if men are so shallow that they like only women with attractiveness. Both men and women suffers while looking after a family . Maybe from where you come from women have no problem. I'm from India where women are considered to be shit. Even Indian laws are more lenient towards men when it comes to divorce or inheritance. I know it, because because my father illegally holds my mother's money and there is no law to give up the wife's money after a divorce. And yeah, there's this thing called dowry. Then there are families where women are not allowed to go out for work or get educated. Women can't even go out at night fearing of that same men who are supposed to protect them, will attack them. So don't try to belittle women. Women have same value as men too. Remember, it's a woman who carried you and gave birth to you. It's not an easy task. Yes, there are shitty woman. But still you can't ignore good women. I still respect men even though I have been mistreated by my father, male friends and ex boy friends because I know there are good men.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@Girlwithsilverheart: oh, well, fair. In the U.S., women are worth more than men and often fuck men over hugely in divorce settlements. Men aren't respected either and husbands are often seen as idiots who cant do anything right no matter how hard they try, but they're actually deserving of respect, as a whole.
India kinda has it fucked all around. Caste system and rape injustice and such. Sure, okay, I think you deserve that much. 😅 I agree completely that women have the same value as men. Just not more.
India kinda has it fucked all around. Caste system and rape injustice and such. Sure, okay, I think you deserve that much. 😅 I agree completely that women have the same value as men. Just not more.