Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Am Scared

I am scared of so many things. Of love, my future, my thoughts and actions. I am scared that I will always love him and will have to see him love other people that aren't me and that never will be me. I am scared that I will always end up being hurt by someone who supposedly "loved" me, whatever that means. I am afraid that I will never be able to do and get what I want in the future. The thoughts that I have now and what I just want to do, could ruin a lot. Part of me just wants to give up and disappear yet another part wants to keep going and hopes for the best. But for me, the best never happens. I don't think that it ever will. I am just so scared.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

picklebobble

Life is scary. Add to that there will be people who say they love you and you'll never be certain why. Or if they really mean what they say. But then when was the last time you were certain of anything?
Will it last? Why do they want me? Will i be enough for them? From there, it progressed to the "What if?"'s. What if it doesn't work? What if they cheat? What if they are violent? What if they have conditions for their love?...................This could go on endlessly!
I get it. Totally! Why risk anything? You could just go about your life and if necessary you could be the spinster with the cats! Or maybe the single minded business woman. Too busy for things like love, a family of your own, social happiness.
But, speaking as one A LOT older than you. I can tell you that living like this SUCKS!!!
How do i know? Been living almost exactly as you describe for TWENTY YEARS!!!!!!!!
That's twenty years with no romance! No additional children.-outside of the three from my marriage! No Christmas or birthday celebrations! No cuddles on the couch! No holidays away with the one you love! No candlelit dinners for two!
And life might well feel "safe". But it has been and continues to be lonely.

Add a comment...