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I Love My Dad

Last Tuesday, I lost a part of my heart. My dad, suddenly, passed away.

I was having a bad relation with him for a long time. Many were the things I wasn't agree with. I blamed him for my psychological issues.
Thanks him, I could see that he only tried to do the best and give the best he knew in each moment. He also showed me that he was there each time I needed him.
I still remember how he hold me in his hands and took me to the living room when I took pills and was in my bed for three days without wanting to eat.

I'm so grateful for the last years that I could share with him when I finally see his real scent. When I could accept some characteristics of his personality that used to make me mad and then, I could laugh at them with him.
I never knew such a pure heart like the one he had.

How welcome are these remarks from you when I thought you were interfering in my business, what else you could did if you are my father; how welcome are these discussions because we had different point of view in many things, how welcome are your advises, your stories, the brightness in your eyes when we talk about the universe or the animals. How welcome all this precious time that I would wish last forever.

I love you papi.

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Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

Thats truly beautiful. Youre father would be proud im sure. Sorry for your loss. I know that pain.

twistermind · 51-55, F

Thank you! Yes. It was the hardest pain ever. Luckily, I can talk about him now.

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: Thats great. Talking helps honestly. Its cool u are able to openly express yourself. My father died when i was 15 unfortunately and that spelt disaster for me at the time. But, like u i can talk openly about these things now. Its part of the healing process

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: Oh, dear. It must be so horrible. With only fifteen years. When you need him more.
Sorry a lot!

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: Thats ok. That was on sunday 29 may 1983. Still very clear in my mind but iam able to deal with it now. I did go down the wrong path in life for a while after that but that was long ago and so i try to focus on the better memories like u have done with ur father which is absolutely awesome.

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: I understand how you could feel lost and follow the wrong path. I'm happy you realised of that.
I promised him to be the best person I can in his honor. That helps me.

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: That is awesome. Thats exactly what will keep u on the right track. Honouring his memory. My ex wife died september 7 2016 and our 23 year old son and 28 yr old daughter are grieving. Iam to for them and for barbara. And i have been so afraid of them going down the road i went down so i said to them that they have to stay focused and do thier best to do what would make thier mum proud. I speak to them every day.

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: Oh my god! Luckily your kids have you. Sorry for your loss.
It's so hard to know that you are not gonna see again a person you love.
My nieces and my nephew thinks he's in a star but I know the true.
My doggies still look for him. They can't understand. His passion was his grandkids and my doggies. He was so affectionable with them.

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: Thank u. Yes i really truly have to be strong. You to. Your father sounds like he was a lovely man and great father and grandfather. Thats really nice that the younger ones can relate to him as a star. That will be so comforting to a young mind. Beautiful.

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: Yes, it's the best.
My niece Cesar asked why my dad hadn't gone to visit him. He lives in another city. My mother said: Don't you remember that grandpa is in a star?.
Are your kids religious?

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: Thats beautiful. No they are not religious. Id never been brought up around religion. Although i have faith in something unknown to me. What i do not know. I have nothing against anyone religious. Are u religious?

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: No. I'm not religious either. I was brought up in Catholic faith but I followed my own path. :-)
What else can someone tell a kid? I think my brother and sister did the right thing.
I myself, when one of my learners tells me about a relative who passed away, I told him/her: Do you know that (s)he is in a star and is taking care of you?. They usually look at me with a smile and assent. :-)

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: Aww thats lovely ☺ You seem like a really nice person. I wish u so well. Keep yourself strong to hey. There will be times of sorry. That never goes away but your great way of dealing with ur loss along with ur love for ur family will get u through this. Im going to malaga on friday to a week so i.ll be in ur beautiful country for a week with 2 of my friends. We are going over to Gibraltar to for a day. Cant wait. Need this small break ☺

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: Thank you for your nice words.
And have a marvellous week here. I will be closer than you think.
I'm sure people are gonna take care of you here. :-)

Thingschange4444 · 51-55, M

@twistermind: No problem. Has been really very nice to talk to you. And yes going to do my best to make it a great week. Thank you. Take care. Chat anytime. Goodnight ☺

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Perry4444: The same here. Thank you for your support words about my dad's loss.