I Love My Dad
Always... I love my dad. He's not my biological father. He's from Macedonia. He raised me since I was one and always made sure I was well taken care of. Always.
He wasn't perfect, and my mother wasn't either. They might have been happy, if it weren't for my mothers drug addictions.
Shortly after I got married, my husband got a religious ruling that I could not contact him because he never married my mother. I was young, naive and I didn't contact him and he didn't contact me.
Well, for the first time since I was 19, (ten years), I contacted him.
I texted him pictures of me and my kidz. I texted him (I'm too chicken shit to call him). I told him how pressured I was by the religious community I was in, and all the pressure to conform to this and that and how my husband had forbidden me to contact him.
I apologized to him for that. I told him I'd understand if he was mad, but that I hoped he wasn't angry with me and that I hoped that he could forgive me.
I hope that one day soon that when we are ready, I can see him again and talk to him again. I hope for the best. I have had my stomach twisted over this.
I am so sorry that I let things get this way. I am so sorry that I didn't see the signs that I was too naive and gullible and young to see it.
But no matter what my Bubbi did (what I called him growing up), I will always love him. Even if he doesn't forgive me. I will always love him. He was my Bubbi, he took care of me, he loved me, made sure I was fed and clothed me and love me more than many men love their own children.
UPDATE:
I talked to my dad over the weekend. He thought something was wrong. It was a lil awkward. We talked. He didn't get my text/apology or my pics. But he was doing good. I just wanted to say Hi and see how he was doing. It was really nice to hear his voice again.
He wasn't perfect, and my mother wasn't either. They might have been happy, if it weren't for my mothers drug addictions.
Shortly after I got married, my husband got a religious ruling that I could not contact him because he never married my mother. I was young, naive and I didn't contact him and he didn't contact me.
Well, for the first time since I was 19, (ten years), I contacted him.
I texted him pictures of me and my kidz. I texted him (I'm too chicken shit to call him). I told him how pressured I was by the religious community I was in, and all the pressure to conform to this and that and how my husband had forbidden me to contact him.
I apologized to him for that. I told him I'd understand if he was mad, but that I hoped he wasn't angry with me and that I hoped that he could forgive me.
I hope that one day soon that when we are ready, I can see him again and talk to him again. I hope for the best. I have had my stomach twisted over this.
I am so sorry that I let things get this way. I am so sorry that I didn't see the signs that I was too naive and gullible and young to see it.
But no matter what my Bubbi did (what I called him growing up), I will always love him. Even if he doesn't forgive me. I will always love him. He was my Bubbi, he took care of me, he loved me, made sure I was fed and clothed me and love me more than many men love their own children.
UPDATE:
I talked to my dad over the weekend. He thought something was wrong. It was a lil awkward. We talked. He didn't get my text/apology or my pics. But he was doing good. I just wanted to say Hi and see how he was doing. It was really nice to hear his voice again.
36-40, F
