I Am Tired Of All The Slut-Shaming

@Lostpoet How would she be messing up other people's relationships, though??? Yes, i know that you are going to say "By sleeping with the man/woman" but, if they are looking outside of their relationship for love and affection, then their relationship is already messed up... and, unfortunately, you can't always tidy up that mess by yourself.

@HootyTheNightOwl Some guys can't take the temptation of another girl being into hooking up and they might not have hooked up if she wasn't so tempting. Some guys can be really weak and a moment can mess up there whole lives.

@Lostpoet Yeah... sooo women should walk around wearing potato sacks, just in case a guy might notice her, right???

This type of attitude is precisely why women are being put off reporting that they were raped - because they know that it will somehow be their fault.

Even if she doesn't make her interest in him immediately known to him, guys typically have an idea of what their relationship means to them enough to be able to demonstrate if the relationship is dead or alive - so it would be reasonable to think that he might be strong enough to resist the charms of another woman if the one that he has means so much to him.

@HootyTheNightOwl I said I support women's rights they can behave just as sexually aggressive as any frat boy but it's not right to hit on someone that is married.

@Lostpoet I agree with you but I once got involved with a man in a long term relationship and I can tell you that he was the predator. By the time you cheat, you're looking. The other woman doesn't make you lie to and deceive your partner. Often the other woman is also being lied to and the long term partner presented as an emotional abuser he is no longer intimate with. It's all lies.

@Lostpoet And when it's the married party doing the hitting on??? Not all men choose to wear wedding rings, so it's not always possible to know if he is married or not unless he tells you directly - and if he's looking to cheat on his wife... i doubt that will be the first sentence past his lips.

@HootyTheNightOwl if you know he is married than it's your job to not give him any hints of coupling.

@Lostpoet No, if he's married, then it's [b]his[/b] job to be strong enough to be able to control any wandering eye he might have in the first place!!!

Men have just as much responsibility for marriages and affairs as women have. It's time to stop painting them as the victims in affairs because its offensive and an insult to the majority of men out there who can and do control themselves.

@HootyTheNightOwl Do you think it's moral to dangle candy in front of children?

@Lostpoet Dude! Women are not candy. You sound like the Taliban. Nor are men children

@SW-User fine! Bad analogy, but you have to admit some women tease unavailable men because they think it's funny.

@Lostpoet Jesus... even the Catholic Church invalidates a marriage if it is determined that one spouse wasn't capable of understanding the commitment of the vows that they made on their wedding day.

If a man is really that "feeble" then, maybe he should be living in sheltered accommodation somewhere where he has access to a warden to look after him.

There's a difference between men and children, being that men are grown ass adults, and, as such should be capable of being able to make decisions on their life having full knowledge of implications.

@HootyTheNightOwl That doesn't answer the question though some women like to flirt with unavailable guys just because they think it's fun. again I believe in women's rights 💯 women deserve to act as they please just like guys are. And guys hit on unavailable women all the time.

@Lostpoet Why do i owe you a proper answer now, when much of your defence of men throughout this debate has bordered on the same arguments that are often used by enablers to justify abuse within relationships???

Did you know that a shirt and trousers can be seen as being provocative enough to get a woman raped??? The same shirt and trousers that most men don't give a second thought to wearing to work in the summer months.

Yes, people hit on people that they can't have quite a bit - though it doesn't change the fact that we all have the responsibility to say "i'm sorry, i'm in a relationship". If his answer isn't heeded, we could always remove ourselves from the situation.

The beauty of most relationships is that most of us do remain faithful to our partners until such a time that we feel like we have tried everything that we can - but the situation is unbearable. Some people can become trapped at this point and not know how to get out of it. Though there is help out there for these situations, it's often patchy at best.

@HootyTheNightOwl You didn't owe me anything but thank you for giving me answer. And women don't get raped for wearing a t-shirt and jeans where I come from. I think men and women should be very careful not to use force in any way in their relationships with one another.

@Lostpoet Trust me, they do... and there's a "nice" police officer there to inform her that its her fault for dressing the way that she did. It's never a man's fault because he's "unable to control himself".

This is the type of thinking that we need to stamp out in our society because it is inappropriate to lay the blame for any wrong doing entirely at the door of one gender - especially when it comes to affairs. The man is just as much in the wrong as the woman is because she can't have an affair with herself. She needs a willing partner.

@HootyTheNightOwl I think this went down a completely different road than what it started on. Rape is never ok and it's never ok to blame the victim in any way. My issue was this part of the writing. ( Which was very good and unique writing.)

But when she said.

[quote]I’m tired fucking married men and guys with their girlfriends
I feel sorry for all these women who don’t know how good sex is.[/quote] that's not something I'd brag about. If a guy thought it was ok to sleep with my wife then that guy is obviously going to find himself in a very dangerous situation with me and I would quickly file a lawsuit with my wife to get a divorce. (lol🤔 sounds a lot like the plot for Anna Karenina) but anyway yeah I don't agree with that portion of her writing.

@Lostpoet Considering that neither of us know her very well, we don't know if this could be her way of encouraging it to stop, though.

The reason why i was able to skim that part is because i sensed some sarcasm within it... why she feels the need to be sarcastic, i don't know - but its possible that the whole thing could be a joke.

@Lostpoet

This isn't me engaging in conversation as this is already old and I'm rarely ever here but...I was so angry today, you know these atrocious days? Anyway, here I am reading this part:

[quote]"it's your job to not give him any hints of coupling."[/quote]

I laughed so freaking hard I could have peed myself! And then:

[quote]"Do you think it's moral to dangle candy in front of children?"[/quote]

Fantastic! Love it! Thanks for the laughs. I'm serious and not being ironic. I'm genuinely thankful. I laughed so hard and it felt very good! I was having one of those days.

My 2 cents (being that this topic kinda applies to me...🥵)

Everybody should simply own up to what they do. Not complicated? Do what you want, have fun but take responsibility?

The devil made me do it? Or in this case, "[b]the boobies made me do it[/b]?" Really? Can you hear me laughing some more?

That legitimizes pretty much half the crime out there. From rape to shoplifting. "I just couldn't help myself!"

[quote]"Some guys can be really weak and a moment can mess up there whole lives."[/quote]

Yep. And their weakness isn't our problem. It's called self-control. Plus, porn, plus, masturbation...or meditation? Whatever works? I've got some secret news for you but promise not to tell anyone? Okay? Here goes: [c=#666666]Being a non-committal slut in open relationships works very well.[/c] Don't tell anyone!

[quote]"If a guy thought it was ok to sleep with my wife then that guy is obviously going to find himself in a very dangerous situation with me"[/quote]

You would beat some guy over your wife's actions? In this case, it's her weakness? Mr.Guy can't sleep with your wife unless she wants him to...her responsibility.

Our weaknesses are our own to struggle with and overcome. You can't scapegoat your weaknesses onto others. (Perhaps we should create public jerk-off areas so guys can relieve the built-up pressure? I'm only half-kidding. It's easier for us to quietly cross our legs and take care of ourselves. No ones notices. I get it, it's harder (oops) for you guys. If only people weren't such goofy prudes!)

If the relationship was solid the cheating partner would not be looking outside to begin with. Problems were already there.

And either way, relationships are based on our emotions, our feelings for one another. If they truly feel love for the other and come from a place of compassion, an affair (physical) should not break a relationship. I find it difficulty to claim to love someone and not allow them any "mistakes". Trials and tribulations are part of life and also relationships.

Now, I'm writing way to much...and it's all YOUR FAULT! See what YOU made my little weak-minded self do? I take no responsibility whatsoever for having had to write ANY of this! None whatsoever! This-this-this RANT of mine? It's your fault! Your post provoked me! You 🐷! And I hope you suffer and BLEED for it, okay?😘

@Vampstress First off this is very well thought of and articulated so I give you credit for that and I'm sorry for being some cave man pig with the inability to keep it in his own pants and not hurt someone that I love.

Second off I feel like you are wrong and I bet you've caused more than a few heart breaks and just because you feel like it's exceptable to do what ever you want and fuck the consequences that's on you but there is one thing I've learned in life is that other people can royally in just one second destroy another person life.

I'm agnostic so I don't believe there is some higher power to dole out punishments for such actions but I think if given a choice you would have sacrificed all of your other sexual encounters for one love of your life but I could be wrong. And I believe everyone has the right to express themselves freely and without judgement so please don't take my thoughts as a direct judgement for how you choose to live.

There's a character in John Steinbeck's East of Eden Cathrine. She reminds me of you.

@Lostpoet About John Steinbeck's East of Eden Cathrine...Her wiki states that:

[quote]Beneath her charming, attractive facade, she is an evil woman who manipulates and destroys people for her own amusement and profit. Steinbeck characterizes her as a "psychic monster" with a "malformed soul"

In 1982, Jane Seymour received a Best Actress Golden Globe award for her portrayal of Cathy Ames in the ABC mini-series adaptation of East of Eden. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Seymour commented that “there is nothing greater than playing evil incarnate.[/quote]

Ouch!

But then again...how often do you get the chance to have a little conversation with "evil incarnate"?😁