I Am Tired Of All The Slut-Shaming

Something happened yesterday that I want to put before the community. I apologize if this story ends up being a bit of a rant, but I was pretty pissed last night. So here goes...

I was chatting with a "much older gentleman" on here and we've been chatting for some time now. He seems okay. We've been chatting about past experiences for us both, including but not only sexy ones.

Last night's chat got more sexy than usual and then in the midst of it, he called me a slut. I kinda freaked a bit. I've been called that once before by an ex-bf and didn't take it too well then either. Anyway, last night, so yeah I ended the chat and just went to sleep.

This morning I told him, [b]"Please don't ever call me a slut again. I really didn't like that at all."[/b]

No apology, barely a response at all and he starts chatting like nothing happened. He said it was a term of endearment in the BDSM world (a world we have never discussed even remotely).

So I said, [b]"Do not ever call me a slut again. Ever. I don't care how it's used by other people."[/b]

His response was basically, you already asked and I already answered. Again, no apology. And he said he was moving on.

So I said, [b]"I haven't quite moved on. I just need a little time to get over that. Calling me a slut was kinda a nuclear bomb. I thought we were friends."[/b]

Again no apology and he starts chatting like nothing is going on and sends me a big long story in the chat which I can't even look at right now.

So I say, [b]"Please stop and just give me a little time, ok."[/b]

To which he responds, [b]Honestly, let's just say goodbye and good luck."[/b]

I'm kinda stunned to be honest. And I fully admit that maybe it's me here. Maybe girls on here like being called sluts. Idk.

So to the girls on SW ... Would you accept being called a slut in a private chat? Would you think it was something like calling you honey or sweetie or baby (terms of endearment)?? Am I just way too out of touch with the norms on here?

I'll respond to any comments like usual, but I really want to hear from girls. Thanks!

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UPDATE: @SW-User Commented below that he was the guy I was talking about in this story and I just want everyone to know that he apologized to me and things are resolved. Thanks for all your comments.

SW-User

I am the "older gentleman" in question. Without going into any detail, I never called JessieGurl a "slut."

At one point the conversation got very hot, and reference was made to naughty girls are the best kind. I asked "Are you a naughty little slut?"

Intent is key here. My intention was not to disparage JessieGurl, my intention was to excite her.

I did apologize with all sincerity to her.

I meant no disrespect to her and she knows it.

IAmJess

@SW-User Thanks for jumping in.

I've tried to tell people that you did eventually apologize.

As for whether your words were meant to call me a slut or to ask my opinion on the subject, out of context it is impossible to know. But in the conversation, it was clear that even though phrased as a question that you were directing the label to me.

But it's fine, we've discussed it and it's in the past.

SW-User

@IAmJess Words can be powerful tools. The problem with chat is the inflection we use when speak is missing.

You misunderstood, and in retrospect, not unreasonably, what my intent was.

I don't put labels on people. I judge them solely on their merits.