I Am The Other Woman
I was once, but left.
When we would meet up, he never talked about his wife, although I knew enough because him and I worked together and had a mutual friend. He neither went on about wanting to leave her, nor how horrible she was, and all that kind of bullshit, and I think I quite liked that. I never wanted him to leave her, as weird as it may sound. It was obvious our relationship would never be a permanent one, so I didn’t expect anything much from the start. I have to say, though, that I fell for him quite hard. It's just too sad when you know you are in no place to expect much, but when it's evident you're in love with the man and actually want certain things. I wonder if this is how it is for others?
At least that’s what I wanted. I was never going to stay in that country forever, it was just a relatively short visit and considering how things had always turned out for me in the past, I was going to pack my things and leave someday. He was a good person, probably one of the best kind I’ve met in my life. He had his faults, but we all do. It would have been nice to have stayed with him and it was ridiculous but at times I found myself imagining what my life would be like with him. Maybe if we had met before he had ever gotten married, something might have happened.
It surprised me, after some time, when he told me he would leave his wife for good if that made me stay. A part of me knew those were just empty words, but at the time he looked weirdly sincere. I told him not to do it, and why he thought I wanted him to do such a thing, I asked. Maybe he had looked defeated, also frustrated, perhaps. Back then everything was a mess. He assumed I was someone I wasn’t, while I had so many problems of my own that I was keeping from him, and I expected nothing from him, being that he was a married man, and that was a red flag in any relationship. I was still living like I was in college, drinking and pushing my reckless habits to the extreme. Landed myself in the ER multiple times and I didn’t want him to know whenever I happened to end up there. Sometimes he knew and came to sit by me, sometimes he found out later and got upset, other times he never knew. I don’t know what he wanted out of me, to be honest. Yes, I know he wanted to sleep with me but something was just wrong towards the end. I didn’t want him to fret over me and get all worried. I was selfish in thinking that, but it was just what I felt at the time.
When we would meet up, he never talked about his wife, although I knew enough because him and I worked together and had a mutual friend. He neither went on about wanting to leave her, nor how horrible she was, and all that kind of bullshit, and I think I quite liked that. I never wanted him to leave her, as weird as it may sound. It was obvious our relationship would never be a permanent one, so I didn’t expect anything much from the start. I have to say, though, that I fell for him quite hard. It's just too sad when you know you are in no place to expect much, but when it's evident you're in love with the man and actually want certain things. I wonder if this is how it is for others?
At least that’s what I wanted. I was never going to stay in that country forever, it was just a relatively short visit and considering how things had always turned out for me in the past, I was going to pack my things and leave someday. He was a good person, probably one of the best kind I’ve met in my life. He had his faults, but we all do. It would have been nice to have stayed with him and it was ridiculous but at times I found myself imagining what my life would be like with him. Maybe if we had met before he had ever gotten married, something might have happened.
It surprised me, after some time, when he told me he would leave his wife for good if that made me stay. A part of me knew those were just empty words, but at the time he looked weirdly sincere. I told him not to do it, and why he thought I wanted him to do such a thing, I asked. Maybe he had looked defeated, also frustrated, perhaps. Back then everything was a mess. He assumed I was someone I wasn’t, while I had so many problems of my own that I was keeping from him, and I expected nothing from him, being that he was a married man, and that was a red flag in any relationship. I was still living like I was in college, drinking and pushing my reckless habits to the extreme. Landed myself in the ER multiple times and I didn’t want him to know whenever I happened to end up there. Sometimes he knew and came to sit by me, sometimes he found out later and got upset, other times he never knew. I don’t know what he wanted out of me, to be honest. Yes, I know he wanted to sleep with me but something was just wrong towards the end. I didn’t want him to fret over me and get all worried. I was selfish in thinking that, but it was just what I felt at the time.
