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I Have a Mental Illness

anyone with mental disorders want to discuss how they feel? need a listening ear?
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I don't have a mental disorder. I'm in emotional conflict.
I grew up in circumstances which made it extremely difficult for me to align with my true being. I was too busy surviving abuses to allow that, so my natural guidance system was ignored. That survival system is still intact, but so is my trauma. They fight each other regularly. It's not an easy life.