I Dont Really Know Who I Am

So I’ve been examining my own thought process trying to self diagnose what could possibly be wrong with me (if anything), so that I can fix it.

I’ve ultimately come up with two areas for improvement. One I’m working on by myself, and the other I’m a bit stuck on.

So I’ve done tremendous research on google (read the top two search results for self worth) and both had a common theme:
One said to increase self worth by never comparing yourself to others. Instead, judge yourself by your own standards.

Here’s where my problem lies: I don’t have any standards, or maybe I do, but I don’t know what they are. I can’t name/list them on my own. My existence is based on impressing others and avoiding failure as much as possible without becoming a failure by doing nothing. I just want to be really good at something—so good it’s impressive or at least more impressive than the person next to me. But I’m not even sure what I like.

So what standards do you judge yourself by? How often do you judge yourself? Where/how can I find my own standards to see where I’m at?