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I Dont Really Know Who I Am

So I’ve been examining my own thought process trying to self diagnose what could possibly be wrong with me (if anything), so that I can fix it.

I’ve ultimately come up with two areas for improvement. One I’m working on by myself, and the other I’m a bit stuck on.

So I’ve done tremendous research on google (read the top two search results for self worth) and both had a common theme:
One said to increase self worth by never comparing yourself to others. Instead, judge yourself by your own standards.

Here’s where my problem lies: I don’t have any standards, or maybe I do, but I don’t know what they are. I can’t name/list them on my own. My existence is based on impressing others and avoiding failure as much as possible without becoming a failure by doing nothing. I just want to be really good at something—so good it’s impressive or at least more impressive than the person next to me. But I’m not even sure what I like.

So what standards do you judge yourself by? How often do you judge yourself? Where/how can I find my own standards to see where I’m at?
standards are built by comparing yourself to something it doesnt have to be a person it has to be something you can measure. Something that can be done in life not just an idea. I look at things i have done in my passed i look at things other people do but i dont pick one person to compare myself to. we are all judging ourselfs and everything every time we think about the thing. honesty you dont really need standards i think the saying practice makes perfect works here, just try to work on something and it will consequentially improve even if its very slowly. my problem is finding motivation, i am not motivated at all.
Wandering1 · 26-30, F
@Girlyfriendcollecting That makes me think I need a new standards list every day. I’ll think about it. Thank you for your thoughtful response 😊

I hope you can find the motivation you need. I’m cheering for you!
@Wandering1 thank you maybe once I have someone to help me with motivation like a boyfriend or close friend.
beautifulsnowstorm · 36-40, M
There is no need to judge anyone, including yourself.
Wandering1 · 26-30, F
The judgement is meant to improve my self worth. Thank you. I feel like that comment comes from a nice place in your heart. We obviously do not share in the same ideologies, but I appreciate you nonetheless. @beautifulsnowstorm
beautifulsnowstorm · 36-40, M
@Wandering1 Well if it is something you benefit from, then I do understand. I am truly indifferent to all things.
lovingdead · 31-35, M
What do you like about yourself? What do you like about others?
Wandering1 · 26-30, F
I like that I’m gentle and considerate. I like that I don’t mean any harm. I like warm people who are inviting. I like people who possess knowledge. I like people who share knowledge. I like people who are thoughtful. I like people who are gentle. I like people who are real and deep. Bold and blunt. I like a lot of things about people.i like that there is a variety.@lovingdead
lovingdead · 31-35, M
@Wandering1 be what you love in others, makes self love and worth all the easier....I believe in you. :)
Wandering1 · 26-30, F
I appreciate you so much. Not to be a weirdy, but I like your poetry :)

Thank you for cheering for me. I will cheer for you too!!! 😁

 
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