I Am a Hedonist

Well, I'm not a practicing hedonist any longer. But I used to be, a lifetime ago. Pleasure was my highest pursuit.

Then I became a lawyer, and winning a case was my highest and best use.

Then I was diagnosed with M.S. Which changed how I looked at the world. A happy ending was no longer assumed. The future became cloudy. My life became a crap shoot. A random sequence of unintended consequences. The meaning of life - or what gave my life meaning? No idea. Certainly not practicing law. That was my livelihood, not my calling.

Then my mother died. She spent her final days in a hospice. I was so impressed by the care given and consideration for not only the dying, but also those left behind, that I volunteered to work there.

And there I was given a sobering perspective. I looked at all the patients, and found one common denominator. In their final hours, all they wanted was to spend time with those whom they had their strongest mortal connection. Everything else was surplusage. Nonessential. Of no essence.

And now, that is what I value the most. Those very few real connections I have formed with others at the level of the heart. If you are one of those few people, you already know that.