I Struggle With Weight

Yeah sometimes I post my body on Snapchat like I’m super proud and confident but the truth is I hate my body. All those pictures are just good lighting. It sucks because I keep gaining and idk what to do. I can’t stop it. I hate eating so much but when I don’t it effects my work life. I don’t want to have an eating disorder anymore but it always seems like the best option. I can’t talk to anyone about my weight because it makes everyone mad because they don’t see fat. I see it and it scares me. Who’s gonna love me when I look 300 lbs. I just don’t know what to do.