I Am Lost, I Am Lost In My Mind, My Emotions, My Feelings

I feel like I was at a high for a while but I can feel myself starting to spiral down. Maybe I'm waiting but being "happy" is always scary because I know that sooner or later that "happiness" that I say I feel is just gonna disappear.

Maybe it's cause I've met a lot of new people and I'm just waiting for the realization to hit them, waiting for them to start ignoring me, waiting for them to start looking at me with disgust, waiting for them to forget that I was ever even there.

I'm not sure if I am waiting for something that I can stop or if what I feel is coming is inevitable.