I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse
I left a violent abuser recently.struggling to not go back .
:(
:(
31-35, F
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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Make a list of all the worst things this person ever did to you and any thoughts you have about how evil this person has been. Read over the list and think about it every time you are tempted to go back. It is scary to be on your own and in a time of major change...but it WILL get better. Think of this as an adventure you can handle.
Most of the time, in situations like this, we are emotionally invested in a fantasy we have of what things would be like if the abuse weren't happening. It is really about giving up on our fantasy about the situation than anything else. The situation would be wonderful if this person was not abusive. But this person IS and that's not changing no matter how much we wish it would.
Please hang in there and create a much better life for yourself. You can and you deserve it. How do I know that? You've taken the first step and that took strength and a vision of something better.
Most of the time, in situations like this, we are emotionally invested in a fantasy we have of what things would be like if the abuse weren't happening. It is really about giving up on our fantasy about the situation than anything else. The situation would be wonderful if this person was not abusive. But this person IS and that's not changing no matter how much we wish it would.
Please hang in there and create a much better life for yourself. You can and you deserve it. How do I know that? You've taken the first step and that took strength and a vision of something better.
newgirl · 56-60, F
This is great advice. I did just that, invented a fantasy of how things would be if he was a good man and convinced myself that life could be wonderful with him this time. I had a good friend that said to me just what you did, you need to give up on your fantasy. And then one day I did and I moved on and life is great without him.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
amnotthattired · 31-35, F
THANKU!:)
amnotthattired · 31-35, F
Yeh.he choked me one time it was very scary .he also said he wanted to bash my skull in. :/ he also said he wanted to lock me in a basement.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
amnotthattired · 31-35, F
amnotthattired · 31-35, F
@greenmountaingal: I cant find the free version 0n Amazon. :(
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@amnotthattired: the books are very cheap if you can buy one. But, if you can't, you may be able to find one reading copy online. If nothing else, go to Gavin DeBecker's website (it's his security company) and read some of his material, especially his PINS (Pre Incident Indicators) from the book [i]The Gift of Fear[/i]. These are the warning signs of a dangerous person that usually appear before that person does anything threatening. I have tried to memorize them and I can usually recite most of them and recognize them when I see or hear them.