I Try Not To Bother Others With My Problems

@originalme, I was like you my whole life. I was high energy, high competence, and high achievement. I felt like giving my problems to others was pointless. About 2.5 years ago I got really sick and stayed sick this whole time. Now they believe it is an environmental illness, and I'm hoping when I address the environment that I will get at least some of my life back.

What I want to say is that during that illness I desperately needed the help of other people, and for the first time in my life, I asked for help. I am here to tell you that not only did no one help but actually people treated me worse because of my issues. I suffered enormous betrayal by people who I was there for repeatedly.

The other side of this is that usually when I try to help people who appear to need it, they often see that as a sign of weakness, not strength. You pretty much cannot win on either side of this coin.

All of that is to reinforce the idea that sharing problems is usually pointless. The world is enormously cold and selfish. Sad.

Girl you are a Leo! That's the Leo curse. Being superwoman for everybody and no one knowing how bad crap really is in your own life.

You wouldn't be seeking them out to vent to them specifically. They'd be choosing to respond. Can't be an imposition that way. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to reassure myself instead. Lol
You don't feel better just venting to no one in particular online?

So I get what you mean about people responding and feeling like that creates a burden. Mostly that will happen with people who are in your friends circle because you put it all out there and they think ugh, I have to say something. People who don't care about you will just not care.

I guess I've been lucky with my circle. I use these sites to get out my emotions on the really big stuff and then to be playful on the life is too short stuff. Most of my friends have always been very supportive in their comments...not like they are obligated to say anything but because they really meant it.

I guess I didn't understand your reply completely. I thought what you meant to say was that you don't want to share stories because you genuinely think that people don't care. I didn't know you meant that even if they read your story they would have just ignore it. I didn't have both thoughts, I don't really care if others ignore me, if I wanted to vent I would have done that but I don't think people actually care about what I have to say and those who do, they just try to help because they are empathetic.

I don't share my problems with anyone because I can handle them on my own. I also believe I'd bore them if I told them. I don't like receiving unwarranted advice because I already give myself advice. What I look for when I do tell people a problem is their understanding and similar experiences with it.

The whole point of being on this site is to express yourself and your feelings, in order to find some answers to questions you have about your life and feelings.at least that's the way I understand it. And it helps those who respond to get away from their owns problems to some degree

For me its the opposite. I don't tell people my problems because I know they don't care. It's largely why most of the time I respond to questions rather than post personal stories. I'll tell my friends who give some indication they care my problems or whatever is on my mind though.

are you? From what you said I assume that people would pay attention to you and would be hurt and you didnt want that. For me its more like if i did complain people would ignore me, which isnt the same thing. But I guess you mean you have had both thoughts.

@CallMeHopelessNotRomantic That's so true, you just described my whole life in one sentence. We have big hearts and we're selfless when it comes to helping other people but we often forget about ourselves... :/

I get you. Even though life really sucks sometimes the best thing friends and strangers can do is give some support. Honestly, I thrive on support lol. You're no burden to me I support you girl! :) Take care!

Well don't feel like one. There. Now that I've told you how to feel, you have to feel better. You're obligated to. I'm kidding... Sorry. Getting back to work now. Best wishes to you though.

That's the word I was looking for LSeule, imposition! I don't want to impose and I often hesitate to express myself fully because I feel I would bore them or worse-become a burden.

I am so like you in this way. I hate sharing my "problems" ... much rather just deal with things myself.

NewSoul29 Thank you, that means a lot, same goes for you! :)

think i get what u mean but people feel better if they can offer others support as im sure people also give them support. i guess what makes a community

You and I both. I write it out but I can't shake this lost feeling. Just don't want to keep being someone I am not.

Indeed I am haha!
Good luck with your work, I wish you a nice day :)

@mic I'm the same way!

Ikr