I Am Lost In Life

I've heard people say that if you want to move past an addiction you have to cut out those who enable you. I guess it's easier said than done. When I sit back and think about it there were several people who practically fed me drugs. My ex used to go score for me. Rarely did I go score for myself but when I did I was never really alone there was always someone else with me. There was a small group of us. I had another friend who would donate her eggs for money and she would get these syringes and vials of sterilized water. She would give them to me. They were meant to be used for hormone treatments to help encourage the growth of eggs but never were used for that purpose. Because of them I never had to resort to sharing needles or never had to go get them myself off the street. There was a movie called Drugstore Cowboy I had watched. I learned to shoot up from that movie.

My ex is no longer in my life so that part was easy. I don't want to cut out the others because they never really did me any wrong. They are nice people but I am at a loss right now. No idea which way to go.