I'm such a flipping moronic freak

I don't see how I'm even still in this job because I feel so worthless and incompetent. I HATE that I'm so awkward, timid and lacking confidence. I'm just dumb struck and the worst out of all my siblings who are social butterflies and the COMPLETELE opposite of me. I HATE how this anxiety has engulfed me and have assumed residency in my life.

I'm such an embarrassment to myself and my mom.