I Am Defective

Please in advance, don't tell me to get help. I have before without success. I feel exhausted with living. I try to offer myself and my gifts to people, but nobody wants them. Not even my friends. They'd rather come around when I have a life difficulty and have become a charity case. I let them in. But, when the opposite happens, nobody wants me to help. Even in basic relationship, I am shut down when I offer what I'm good at or just offer to be a presence. Friends and family rarely listen to me or listen to what I really need. And as an introvert it takes a lot for me to invest. So, if I have it means something. Nobody respects the energy it takes for me to do so. I'm exhausted. I'm trying to see the value of myself and the purpose of going forward, but the motivation is not there anymore.