I Love My Son

So today my work gave me an extra week off to figure out what I should do with Lucas when I go back. We don't have any family, Luke's mother's family cut off all contact with us after she killed herself. They blamed me for her committing suicide and wanted nothing to do with Lucas. My family I cut all contact with cause my parents kicked me out of the house at 16 when they found out I had a baby. They were never actual parents they never cared, they just didn't want that stigma of having a teenager with a child hanging around them. I'm gong to try to call my mother anyway, maybe she's changed I don't know. I talked to both the nurses, and a psychologist yesterday at the hospital, they reccomended this place maybe a half hour from where we are, it's a program they're partnered with its in a hospital unit but it's designed to care for specil needs children and young adults during the day, like real medical, and physical care. It's kind of great it's at a hospital cause they have all kinds of professionals who can help him with physical and speech therepy and he can maybe learn some stuff and they can hopefully help him socialize, It's like a daycare for special needs people 2-23 I think, so I'm going to sign him up for that. Luckily they take our insurance so I just have to fill out a plan for him and some paperwork. I forgot the name, when I find out I'll let you guys know. I'm really greatful and blessed this worked out.


Last night at about 2:30 lucas woke up crying. He made this whimpering sound and I went to check on him and he had tears running down his face. He wasn't sobbing. Just whimpering. I'm not sure if he had a bad dream or if he noticed I wasn't in the room and got scared. I don't know but I put a movie on for him in my room and I watched with him. So because he can't get up to use the bathroom nor tell me he has to go the doctors suggested I start using diapers on him. I don't really like that idea but I'm going to have to. He's been having accidents left and right during the seizures and in between. So I'm going to start looking into that, while I don't want that for him, that's what he needs right now so yeah. The doctor refused to use any tubes or something cause they can malfunction and injure him while he's seizuring. I dont really mind changing him I just never pictured he'd be in such bad condition he would need and require that kind of care. You know you imagine all the possibilities your child has in their future and after you successfully potty train them it's endless opportunities from there and something like this happens where your child is wheelchair bound can't speak and has to be in diapers it is pretty devastating. I feel really bad for him. It breaks my heart. I'll update some more later.


This is kind of weird to be asking but I need to know does anyone have any recommendations for like diapers for teenagers or adults. I have never imagined myself or Lucas in this kind of position so I never really looked into it nor what to do or where to go haha. Thank you and I'm sorry if it's weird