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I Had a Stillborn Baby

Misty...
She was a full term stillbirth. It was the most traumatic experience in my life. I carried her for nine months, bought all her clothes, decorated her nursery, packed her clothes to come home from the hospital, loved her dearly.
It was a spontaneous rupture of the placenta. No one could tell me why it happened.."just one of those things" I was within five minutes of bleeding out. I had to go back to work after six weeks,although i wasnt ready. I was working in a retaurant, and all my customers knew i was due. When I came back, they would all ask "oh , what did you have?" , happy for me. I had to tell them what had happened.....making both of us feel horrible. I cried at the drop of a hat...for no seeming reason. It took a very long time before i could even look at a baby without crying.
My husband at the time, took my two pre-schoolers to my parent's house for them to take care of my kids, and stayed at our house alone. The only thing i asked him to do for me , was to get rid of all Misty's things....i didn't want to have to come home and see them,,thought it would be too hard. I was in the hospital for a week , then at my parents for another week to recuperate. When i finally went home, i walked into her room, and there sat all of her things.
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Lonesurvivor · 61-69, F
I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I think that only someone who's gone through it can really understand....and I agree, facing people was extremely difficult. I preferred the "cold" reactions also.....but no matter the reaction, even the question itself brought me to tears. Thank you so much for your courage in sharing your story!! Love and peace to you..


Penny