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I Can Forgive But Never Forget

Just over a year ago, I've experienced some family issues with my brother-inlaw. Hurtful words were exchanged resulting in me storming out with the kids. Since that day I have never seen them nor have I spoken to them. It took a while for me to get over the pain inflicted by this separation but as time passed us by I learned to toughen up and move on. I have forgiven them within myself but I struggle with trying to forget the whole incident.
Over the year I have avoided any contact with them, only because the scars are healing itself now I dont want to rehash old feelings. Tonight I've booked the kids, together with my mother-inlaw for a comedy show, only to hear that they will also be there. I am just so confused about my feelings, how will it all go down? I dislike feeling uncomfortable, I can tell this is how I am going to feel the entire night.

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beckyromero · 36-40, F

@Kryptonite

It's not fun, that's for sure. Maybe your mother-in-law can help to lighten your discomfort. And forgiving doesn't mean you have to put yourself in a position to be hurt again. You shouldn't have to stand there and take personal insults. But you shouldn't let them spoil times that you should be enjoying either.

If I understand you correctly that your husband is deceased (sorry), then really you have to decide if you want to bother with his family that much. You can certainly spend time with the ones you get along with and avoid the ones you don't.

It's like that way with my ex-stepdad's family. My two brothers get along with some of them and have attended functions even though my younger brother (as well as I) don't bother at all with our ex-stepdad. He attended both of their weddings; I avoided him at the receptions. Too many bad memories. But that didn't stop me from talking with members of his family I got along with.