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I Am Struggling With My Sexuality

I was sexually abused when I was 8 years old by my mother's brother. It went on from 8-10 whenever he visited my family. I never told my parents thinking that they won't believe me.
My child sexual abuse has made me afraid of sex and men.
I feel urges down there but I am afraid to touch myself because of my fear.
I am torn between my urges and my fear.
Sometimes it's so hard to cope up.
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mathsman · 70-79, M
How are you coping with the conflict?
SW-User
@mathsman I am not able to sometimes 😢
mathsman · 70-79, M
@SW-User So sometimes you touch there and it's OK?
SW-User
@mathsman no
Sometimes it just doesn't matter
The depression comes in waves
Sometimes it's not there
Sometimes I get drowned
mathsman · 70-79, M
@SW-User Drowned?
SW-User
@mathsman drown in depression and sadnesd