most of my family tends not to care about me and a few other family members (minus my mother, sister, (grandmother, two uncles <-- moms side) so i think i somewhat know how you feel, though i generally tend to not care what people think about me, if you're being kicked while you're already down and you stand strong, it proves you're better than you think yourself to be. if you can't get a good job with your MAA, i hate to suggest this as it isn't the best.. but you could always work at a fast food place until you get a nice "kick start" my mother worked as waitress for Ihop for years and loved it as far as i could tell, most restaurants aren't good, but if you manage to find a decent one, the tips should add up very quickly. as for the fast food... i'd say it's 55/45 55 being bad, 45 being good.. give him time, he'll come around, they always do. it's only a "bad note" if you make it that way. sometimes being or feeling alone is best, even if it's painful, if people move ahead of you without even slowing down to give you a chance to catch up, then just remember they were never there to begin with. going backwards isn't so bad, in fact i'd say it's better than going forward and that you learn more. if you can't catch the break, then let the break catch you.