I Am Mentally Damaged Due To My Past

I don't want to dwell on it or play the victim here, cause I know you kinds of people would love an excuse to come at me, I feel now my primary purpose for breathing is to take care of my cat. the only true friend I have, but I also feel like I was put here in earth to constantly defend myself, it seems like a pattern since way back as I can remember I've had to deal with little critiques from nominded little twats. I didn't start out this moody, life made me that way. It seems that the years of my bi**hy dramatic mood and the doucheb*g judgments I've dealt with have cause me to develop a problem. That's real sweet, it just makes me super fed up , I can't even control my own brain now.. this is ridiculous. It leaves me with this bittersweet taste on anything I do, any accomplishment I receive or etc..I can never fully be happy or ever fully exist , so I'll bite my tongue for now.. but don't be surprised if I get my vengeance before I go.