I Am Proud of Myself

@ChelseaMonroe you guys? I'm one person...

@ChelseaMonroe ok.

@ChelseaMonroe That is not a reason to stay in an abusive relationship.

You deserve better and shouldn't stick with someone just because you've been together a while, not when they abuse you and take you for granted.

@JupiterDreams see the rest of the comments before handing out your sympathies...

@ChelseaMonroe Funny. I do have compassion. If I didn't care about you at all, I wouldn't even bother with this thread. 🙄 I take abusiveness very seriously because I've been in the victim of all sorts of it. I wouldn't want you to be in that situation, but you also failed to disclose the truth til after the fact people started assuming he's a monster.

@ChelseaMonroe Chelsea, I know she said some tough things to you but Army is normally a very sweet person. I think you misunderstood her intentions. What most folks are trying to say to you is that you want to keep your eyes open and not take it lightly that he did what he did. You are an adult and you choose to stay or go. We just don't want you to become one of the statistics, and maybe we are hypervigilant but there was a study released just 2 months ago that might be part of the reason. That study compiled murder statistics for the last decade. Every day in America, on average, 3 women are murdered by a spouse or lover/former lover every day of the year including Christmas and New Years.

@Fungirlmmm holy crap, I didn't know that. 😯

@ChelseaMonroe is it too crazy for me to say I love you enough not to see you hurt? 😥 I may have worded things bluntly to a point it's seen as insensitive, but the truth is I do love people. If it makes you feel better, I'll apologize.

@XReaganX This isn't the latest study but it points back to one of the major studies that supports it. I volunteer with several charities that help abused women find shelters, job training programs, etc and for kids that are in abusive situations to get help so I research a lot. I have a plethora of knowledge on the subject.

https://www.politifact.com/california/statements/2018/feb/19/jackie-speier/fact-checking-sad-statistic-number-women-murdered-/

Look for the link within that story. The congresswoman got it slightly wrong because she didn't include the former spouse dialogue. The actual statistic in 2018 was 2.74 per day killed by spouse/lover/former lover. And another startling fact is an abuse victim is most likely to be killed while leaving or within 72 hours of leaving their abuser. That info is in one of the links within that report as well. And not only men are abusers; recently there have been more statistics gathered on female abusers and they aren't sure if it is just a spike in reporting at this point or if it it is a trend, but female abusers (female on female and female on male) saw a jump of 14% in 2017 and they made up a steady 12% of cases for first 6 months of 2018. Just a few alarming stats I read in different studies.

@Fungirlmmm whoa. That's wild. 🤯

@XReaganX It is mind blowing. Chelsea may not have realized this thread was going to get this deep when she posted it, but it is a dialogue that is worth discussing. It is more important than discussing whether we are liberal, conservative, or something in between. It is more important than discussing whether we are gay, straight, lesbian, or bisexual. It is something near and dear to my heart. You won't see me going all political here but you will see me stand up and say any abuse on any level or by any gender is wrong.

@Fungirlmmm But what about that dude that got his dick cut off. No sympathy for him?

@Lostpoet I included him. He would have been one of the female on male. If we are talking about Bobbitt. I watched a documentary on that just last week. She still contends that she was physically and emotionally abused. He recently stated that he didn't treat her kindly and that there were instances where he did violate her. I'll try to find that interview again. Nonetheless he didn't deserve to have his penis cut off. Speaking as a woman that her abuser did try to murder her, I can understand wanting to know that your abuser can never harm you again, but killing and maiming him/her is not the answer either.