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ChelseaMonroe I was with my ex 7 years. I had a 2 carat diamond on my finger the day I got enough courage to walk out. (Left the ring, the house key, and the keys to a brand new BMW on the counter. Left all clothes he bought me and all gifts where they were. Grabbed my dog and snuck out while he was at work with a nice officer friend that helped me realize I could get out. I lived on his friends' couches for a little while until I found a job in a new state and could afford to pay rent in my own.) I loved my abuser very much and I had known him for more than 20 years at that time. Abusers come from all walks of life. My abuser was very rich and when he wasn't hurting me he was buying me almost any material possession I wanted. I lived in a 6 bedroom/4 bath home, drove a new car every other year. I had housekeepers and a personal trainer. I walked away from it all. I know now he used those things to control me too.
I loved him even though he hurt me, and I used to defend his actions. Oh he twisted my arm because I ate the last piece of cake. Or he spit on me because I was joking around too much. He threw me in the pool because I really should have had sex when he wanted. You have to decide what is right for you, but what I am saying to you is many of us have been in the scenario you described and it can escalate fast. You can't accept that or it becomes the norm and you start thinking you caused it. That is what a typical abused woman does, she normalizes the abuse and wants others to reassure her that it is indeed normal. Look at it from the outside looking in. If Andrew did that to your mom or to your daughter or your sister because they took his M&M's would you still say that Andrew was just being playful?
