I Am Proud of Myself

@XReaganX It is mind blowing. Chelsea may not have realized this thread was going to get this deep when she posted it, but it is a dialogue that is worth discussing. It is more important than discussing whether we are liberal, conservative, or something in between. It is more important than discussing whether we are gay, straight, lesbian, or bisexual. It is something near and dear to my heart. You won't see me going all political here but you will see me stand up and say any abuse on any level or by any gender is wrong.

@Fungirlmmm But what about that dude that got his dick cut off. No sympathy for him?

@Lostpoet I included him. He would have been one of the female on male. If we are talking about Bobbitt. I watched a documentary on that just last week. She still contends that she was physically and emotionally abused. He recently stated that he didn't treat her kindly and that there were instances where he did violate her. I'll try to find that interview again. Nonetheless he didn't deserve to have his penis cut off. Speaking as a woman that her abuser did try to murder her, I can understand wanting to know that your abuser can never harm you again, but killing and maiming him/her is not the answer either.

@ChelseaMonroe My guy started out playful too and two years later he was cutting my ponytail off with a pocket knife because some dude I didn't know flirted with me. Threw me in a pool in January because I wouldn't have oral sex with him. I had that gun pointed at me more than once and he threatened to kill my family and then himself if I ever left him. At that point I really wanted him to kill me over having to live in the fear he kept me in. Yes. It started out playfully wrestling and putting my arm behind my back etc.

@ChelseaMonroe I was with my ex 7 years. I had a 2 carat diamond on my finger the day I got enough courage to walk out. (Left the ring, the house key, and the keys to a brand new BMW on the counter. Left all clothes he bought me and all gifts where they were. Grabbed my dog and snuck out while he was at work with a nice officer friend that helped me realize I could get out. I lived on his friends' couches for a little while until I found a job in a new state and could afford to pay rent in my own.) I loved my abuser very much and I had known him for more than 20 years at that time. Abusers come from all walks of life. My abuser was very rich and when he wasn't hurting me he was buying me almost any material possession I wanted. I lived in a 6 bedroom/4 bath home, drove a new car every other year. I had housekeepers and a personal trainer. I walked away from it all. I know now he used those things to control me too.

I loved him even though he hurt me, and I used to defend his actions. Oh he twisted my arm because I ate the last piece of cake. Or he spit on me because I was joking around too much. He threw me in the pool because I really should have had sex when he wanted. You have to decide what is right for you, but what I am saying to you is many of us have been in the scenario you described and it can escalate fast. You can't accept that or it becomes the norm and you start thinking you caused it. That is what a typical abused woman does, she normalizes the abuse and wants others to reassure her that it is indeed normal. Look at it from the outside looking in. If Andrew did that to your mom or to your daughter or your sister because they took his M&M's would you still say that Andrew was just being playful?

@ChelseaMonroe @ChelseaMonroe just be careful, sounds like he has a temper

Well I don’t know you. Or your situation. @ChelseaMonroe it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.

But what is the point of this?

@ChelseaMonroe maybe you like the pain he inflicts?
taking your car might seem Manly to you.

ask some of these girls here,
"should I let him steal my stuff and hurt me?"

@ChelseaMonroe yeah ask THEM<, your peers.

@ChelseaMonroe

Remember this:

It is not your fault when for the first time he raises his hand on you, but the second time on, it is your fault because you choose to stand and stay in a place where you have been beaten up by him before..

Remember this:

It takes two for an abuse to take place, one who abuses, and one who accept to be abused..

Your life, your choice..

May your choice be loving you first.... Amen