I Hate My Parents
I hear the beat of my heart grow intense, and the room is filled with hate and madness. Things were said, things were thrown. Every ear is surrounded with screams. For a moment my voice is weak from the yelling and my heart drops to the floor. My ears turn deaf and i feel time slow down. I feel the pain of each word thrown at me like i'm a punching bag ready to fall over. "You are a disappointed" "you are not like the other kids" "pick up your shit" "You never do anything right" "Your not normal" "I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU" "I WISH I COULD KILL MYSELF SO I WOULDN"T HAVE TO BE AROUND YOU" "My Life is all your fault" "I want you out of here" "I can't wait until your gone" "CHANGE YOUR WAYS"
All these shouts and more, have been thrown at me by my parents. I don't understand how my existence could be so wrong... humans make mistakes but we don't even get the chance to fix our wrongs. I'm not perfect in fact i make mistakes everyday but it doesn't mean that its always me who is the criminal. If it takes two people to create a wrong then why am i always the once who is at fault. I'm so tried of being told i am worthless and a complete disappointment by the people who are supposed to be there for me but choose to argue and fight and what they say goes. I don't even get to defend myself or even stand up for myself and when i do i'm considered being disrespectful. I thought they would understand when i told my school counselor about my cutting and depression, just maybe they would put their selfishness aside and put their child first! Maybe they would see the pain i was in. No! i was wrong they will never change, because they see themselves as only the victims. It breaks my heart to even think that my parents would tell me that they wish i was never born.
All these shouts and more, have been thrown at me by my parents. I don't understand how my existence could be so wrong... humans make mistakes but we don't even get the chance to fix our wrongs. I'm not perfect in fact i make mistakes everyday but it doesn't mean that its always me who is the criminal. If it takes two people to create a wrong then why am i always the once who is at fault. I'm so tried of being told i am worthless and a complete disappointment by the people who are supposed to be there for me but choose to argue and fight and what they say goes. I don't even get to defend myself or even stand up for myself and when i do i'm considered being disrespectful. I thought they would understand when i told my school counselor about my cutting and depression, just maybe they would put their selfishness aside and put their child first! Maybe they would see the pain i was in. No! i was wrong they will never change, because they see themselves as only the victims. It breaks my heart to even think that my parents would tell me that they wish i was never born.
26-30, F
