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I Hate My Parents

I hear the beat of my heart grow intense, and the room is filled with hate and madness. Things were said, things were thrown. Every ear is surrounded with screams. For a moment my voice is weak from the yelling and my heart drops to the floor. My ears turn deaf and i feel time slow down. I feel the pain of each word thrown at me like i'm a punching bag ready to fall over. "You are a disappointed" "you are not like the other kids" "pick up your shit" "You never do anything right" "Your not normal" "I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU" "I WISH I COULD KILL MYSELF SO I WOULDN"T HAVE TO BE AROUND YOU" "My Life is all your fault" "I want you out of here" "I can't wait until your gone" "CHANGE YOUR WAYS"
All these shouts and more, have been thrown at me by my parents. I don't understand how my existence could be so wrong... humans make mistakes but we don't even get the chance to fix our wrongs. I'm not perfect in fact i make mistakes everyday but it doesn't mean that its always me who is the criminal. If it takes two people to create a wrong then why am i always the once who is at fault. I'm so tried of being told i am worthless and a complete disappointment by the people who are supposed to be there for me but choose to argue and fight and what they say goes. I don't even get to defend myself or even stand up for myself and when i do i'm considered being disrespectful. I thought they would understand when i told my school counselor about my cutting and depression, just maybe they would put their selfishness aside and put their child first! Maybe they would see the pain i was in. No! i was wrong they will never change, because they see themselves as only the victims. It breaks my heart to even think that my parents would tell me that they wish i was never born.
Adstars
Sadly there are many people like you who have gone through similar experiences in their early lives. Thank you for sharing your experience, I know many are so traumatised by similar situations that they feel worthless and blaim themselves for all the abuse that has been unjustly heaped upon them. But the good thing i see in you is that you seem to be aware that their verbal attacks upon you are not justified and are simply emotional abuse. I hope you hold onto that understanding and it allows you to know that you have self worth and are lovable and can have a better life and better more sane relationships with others in the future.. Be strong, I do not know how much longer you will be under your parents authority and roof. But keep holding onto hope and be your own cheer squad and motivator. Try to focus on the end of the tunnel and your future liberation from this darkness. Motivate yourself to do well at school so that when the opportunity comes to leave your negative situation you will be able to support yourself and go for a better life . (((( MKM17)))) good luck in your future.
sylphofspace
My mother abandoned my family because she didn't want to take care of me. She didn't want me, me being some responsibility she could run away from. My father thinks everything I do is to mess him up, and that I'm some stupid little kid who needs to go away. A counsler tried to tell him about my eating disorders and depression, but he just told me to stop wasting time and his attention. I once tried in an argument to use my right as a citizen of the USA to free speech to defend myself against his horrible accusations and insults. He said "Under my roof, you have no rights or opinons" And sometimes I think I don't. Sometimes I think everything is true. It never gets better if you stay. When I turn 18, I'm outta there. Even if I don't accomplish anything, I'll be free. I will be out and away from my family's toxic influence. That thoughts keeps me going. It helps.
pratima6969
Same here I also hate my parents. They think that I don't study well I don't get enough grades in school to complete their satisfaction because of them my life is complete mess I hate them they say that I don't do any work but when I'm out they say that I'm always out with friends because of them I never brings any of my frnds home
jollydead
work hard at school, go out of home for college/university ?
chelopots
samehere i really hate my parents.

 
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