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I Know Sadness

[quote]Remembering a sad moment: 20 July 2013[/quote]

They sat without saying anything for quite some time occasionally glancing at each other. "Are you enjoying the book you are reading?" "Yes," was his reply. He had no energy to engage in conversation, to initiate any conversation, or maintain the conversation. There were memories to enjoy, things to say, and moments to share. But, the mood demanded to be serviced and that extracted everything. At 15 minutes she said, 'Let's watch the movie you brought" and they hid behind that individual activity they did together until it was time for him to go. She suggested that it was time-to-go first. There was a quick hug and he was gone. She seemed sad and lost and he felt disconnected and abandoned. He planned to visit again next month and she assumed he would.
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MarkPaul · 26-30, M
king!!!! I am really happy to hear from you. I've been trying to practice your advice... just put myself "out there" without so much pre-digested anxiety over what the outcome will be and instead just let the outcome be the outcome and enjoy the experience before moving on. It's been hard to do, but it's been mostly good. I do still agonize over things though and how I "wished" the outcome would turn out. I am getting better at not reacting (well at least not OVER-reacting) when I don't like how things turn out. And, trying not to come across as so docile (I'm not, really). I am interacting more with people and generally feeling better about things. I'm still a pretty solitary soul though and no longer enamored with that image of myself, but still not able to alter it. It's still a struggle...

Thanks for your comments about my story. It was actually a visit with my Mom. After I moved out on my own, my relationship with my parents have kind of deteriorated. I think in part, I may be trying to disconnect from my past; in part it's my feeling of disconnection with practically everyone. And, then there is the "theory" that I am attempting to force people away as a form of self-punishment although why I would do that when I want interaction is currently beyond my comprehension. I'm contemplating if that theory is even relevant...

How are you? What have you been up to?