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I Can't Leave

I keep contemplating the idea of leaving and I keep getting more reasons to leave since I can't connect with or keep my connections with anyone. There are still a lot of people here I admire and would love to get to know better but I can't because they're just going to end up disliking me sooner or later. That really disheartens me but it is what it is. Sure I still have some friends here who do like me for some reason or another but I'm not so sure if it's going to stay that way with any of them anymore. With all the "close friends" I've lost here, I'm not sure I actually have any real friends. It makes me regret ever coming here. Hell, I do regret coming here! Nothing has quite made me feel as empty and alone as this place has. Not to blame the site, of course. It's not SW's fault that I can't have friends. I mean I should just never have come here in the first place. I keep wanting to cut my losses and just leave but I can't kid myself; I may leave for a little while but I would only keep coming back and I'm not about to become one of [i]those[/i] users. Still, I seem to be locked in a paradox of not wanting to be here any longer yet I simply cannot bring myself to leave. Damn my stupid, pointless feelings.
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ineedadrink · 51-55, M
You and I haven't spoken much here but I have always found you to be a nice, sweet person despite what you write about yourself here. I hope you are able to get to a point where you overcome that which is not good for you, whether that involves deleting or staying.