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I Helping A Friend In Need

Need opinions on my friend's situation.

She talked to an online person, fell in love and entered a long distance relationship with him. In the 2 months span that she "dated" him, she told me that he would be upset at her if she didn't respond to him quick enough, even if she was busy with school or something. But when he doesn't respond to her msgs quick enough, she complains and he said he would make it up to her, but doesn't always, because he has a busy life too.

After I asked her to break up with him, since he was manipulating her, she decided to listen to my advice. As soon as she broke up with him, he started hurting himself and attempted suicide many times. She says she still talks to him, because he claims he needs her, but I'm telling her that he is mentally unstable n needs to seek help elsewhere and he is making her feel guilty. She says she is guilty, thinking that breaking up with him caused him to be like this, but I told her that its a cry for help and he wouldn't make a good match for her if he was this weak, mentally.

What do you think she should do? She doesn't believe me that he needs other people to help him and not just her. She says he only trusts her and that she understands. I'm annoyed to see her feel forced to stick by him constantly. She is a close friend, but is really sad by all this.
Change her user id and get a restraining order
walabby · 61-69, M
I had an aunt whose husband told her that he would kill himself if she didn't marry him. She did marry him and he made her life a misery for the next 55 years. Total control, beatings and cheating..
Your friend just needs to dump that loser and move on.
LifeisReal · 31-35, M
@walabby I'm trying to tell her, but for the past month she never believes my own msgs.
walabby · 61-69, M
@LifeisReal You can only try... She has to be responsible for her own mistakes, ultimately...
SW-User
I was in along distance relationship where the guy would get upset and demanding if I didn't respond to his texts quick enough. He also disrespected my boundaries in other areas. I wish I had been more assertive and recognised the problem was mine, not his. I wasn't protecting myself or my boundaries.
AllAboutLaffs · 70-79, M
Situations like these are like watching a train wreck about to happen ... but you cannot MANAGE someone else's life ...
LifeisReal · 31-35, M
Quick update: Last week, the guy really did commit suicide and she is very upset about his loss. So, we can't do anything to help. Now, she is upset that I wasn't close to the guy and never gave him a chance. She blames me for his death now. :/
SW-User
@LifeisReal how awful. How could it possibly be your fault? I guess irrational blaming is part of grieving and suicide always leaves damage in its wake.
bigjohndl · 70-79, M
Has she ever met him in person or is this just an online relationship?
LifeisReal · 31-35, M
@bigjohndl Online only.
bigjohndl · 70-79, M
@LifeisReal She does not even know if the person is real or not. And she is feeling guilty? Sounds like this friend is the on that is mentally unstable, if you are asking.
SW-User
Tell her to run away.. he needs professional help.
SW-User
I like your ape escape avi
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LifeisReal · 31-35, M
@Stereoguy Both in the USA. Young adults, neither supporting each other.
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